Chapter 5

Shehnaaz was in such a hurry, rushing through the college halls. Thoughts of him didn’t cross her mind because expecting him at college was next to impossible. She knew that.

The lack of a crowd made her realize that the lectures had already started, and she freaked out thinking about the scolding she was going to get.

Walking fast up the stairs, she murmured to herself, “Ohh God… lecture start ho gaya… me to aaj mar gayi… me…”

Suddenly, she was pulled back, making her scream, “Ohh Godddd…”

The scream was instantly silenced when a palm covered her mouth and a strong arm snaked around her waist, pulling her into a close hug from behind.

Her eyes popped out in surprise, but her heartbeat gave him away. She shivered in realization… it was him. She was shocked, surprised, happy, and nervous. She didn’t need anything to recognize him; every beat of her heart knew it was him. Only he was capable of doing this to her.

Sidharth stood there, rooted to the spot, watching her submit herself to his arms. How does she always manage to recognize him without even seeing him? He was happy, delighted, and mesmerized to have her in his arms, his life in his embrace. He grabbed her more tightly from behind, resting his head on her hair.

Her smile widened. She didn’t care about the lectures, college, or friends—nothing. It was just him and her, and that was all the world meant to her.

She was happy to be near him, the way she always liked…

Sidharth slowly came back to his senses, staring at her from behind. He observed her, taking his sweet time. Her cute top and shredded jeans made her look more like a teenager. It reminded him of the age gap between them. She was so delicate compared to his huge form.

His hand became gentle around her, thinking he might hurt her. She was so delicate, and he was like a flame of fire—strong, rough, aggressive, dominating, ruthless. A side of him she could never imagine.

He couldn’t believe it yet. How would she be able to handle this ruthless man with her cute love?

Her eyes had closed long ago as she smiled, “Aap…”

that ‘aap’ melted his heart right away..

A smile teased his lips. He came near her ear from behind and whispered, “Bahot pyari lag rahi ho…” His words surprised both of them. He never knew he had these words in his dictionary for anyone except his mother. His mother was the only person he thought was beautiful in the world. When did this happen?

Her blush and happiness increased at his comment. She was happy, mesmerized, lost in his words. This was the first time he had ever expressed it. That was the perfect word to praise her, she thought. She would never need a word more than that.

She blushed with a soft smile. Her eyes opened, and she saw his strong arm over her torso. Her fingers softly reached out and rested around his fingers, making him flinch.

Her mere touch drove him crazy. The idea of wanting to see him never crossed her mind, like she already knew how he looked, like she knew he belonged to her forever. His heart was enough proof for her that she was his, only his.

Lost in her, Sidharth slowly caressed her earlobe with his lips. She was tickled by his touch. He enjoyed seeing the impact he had on her.

He whispered near her lips, “Mujhse bardasht nahi hota… ke mere alava koi aur tumhe dekhe…”

His words stuck to her heart. She loved him, every single word he said, his dominance, his ownership of her. Shehnaaz whispered back, “Aap mujhe chhupa ke to nahi rakh sakte na…?”

Sidharth dominantly nuzzled his nose into her hair, “Main tumhare sath kuch bhi kar sakta hu…” and bit her earlobe hard, making her wince, “Ouchh…”

His heart hitched at her soft wince. For a second, he got scared as if he had hurt her. He kissed her ear softly, soothing the pain away.

Shehnaaz chuckled at his behavior—attitude one second, and caring the next.

He continued to kiss her ear, “Dard ho raha hai mera bachha…”

Shehnaaz smiled at his care, “Main mom ki gudiya thodi hun…”

Sidharth smiled at her words, grabbing her more tightly as if they had known each other for ages.

What kind of relationship did they share? They both couldn’t understand. They had only known each other for two days, but they behaved as if they had been together for years. They knew every beat of each other’s hearts.

Sidharth heard some noise and instantly let go of her, turning around with their backs towards each other. He groaned, hating having to let go of her.

Shehnaaz held onto the stair railing for support as she felt her legs go weak, “Aap mere liye aaye the…?” Her innocent heart couldn’t help but ask.

Sidharth chuckled at her sweet question and pure hope in her tone, “Nahi… main kuch aur kaam se aaya tha…”

Shehnaaz couldn’t buy that, “Jhoot mat boliye…”

Sidharth shook his head. Could he lie to his love? “Sach keh raha hoon…”

He couldn’t dare to say the truth. He felt overwhelmed to express his heart to her that yes, yes, he came for her, to see her, to meet her, to hug her.

Shehnaaz made a baby face, “Main nahi manti…”

Sidharth turned his face slightly to the right to see a little of her hair, “You don’t trust me…?”

Shehnaaz shook her head like a baby, “I don’t…”

Something snapped within Sidharth. His expressions changed, his eyes widened in pain at her ruthless words.

How could she say that? His emotions were crushed into pieces with her answer. She doesn’t trust him. His heart sunk in pain at the revelation.

He felt as if he was suffocating and couldn’t breathe anymore. He couldn’t accept it, couldn’t bear it. Why didn’t she trust him? Why would she trust him? She didn’t even know how he looked. But she never made an attempt to look for his face. Is she serious? Is all this her childishness or just a time pass? The thought churned him within, and his heart dropped to his stomach.

He turned to see her, but she was still looking away from him.

How can I be so stupid? She never trusted me. That’s why she didn’t want to see my face. Is she serious at all, or is this just fun for her?

His heart filled with unbearable agony. His pain started bursting out in the form of anger. He couldn’t bear to see her back facing him. He wanted to hold her tightly in his arms and ask her why she didn’t trust him. But All he could see was her back turned to him.

Unable to control himself, he left from there at once…

Shehnaaz was still waiting for his reply, “Happy… ab boliye… ke aap mujhse hi milne aaye the…” she said like a stubborn child. Her heartbeat quickened as she decided to turn around and see him for the first time. She turned softly to face him, but he was not there.

Her expressions changed from surprise to confusion. She searched for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be found. Her eyes were madly searching for him at every corner her eyes could reach. She thought he always vanished like this, like a dream. But today, she didn’t like it. “Woh aise kyun chale gaye? Mujhe bataye bina… Kya ho gaya unhe? Unhe kal kaha tha na ke meri izazat ke bina nahi jayenge… fir… Pehle main 20 minute wait karungi, fir manungi…” her innocent heart decided.

She didn’t care about any lecture. All she cared about was him. As the minutes passed, her hopes were crushed. He left her without telling her. Tears rolled down her eyes. She got angry now. “Yeh kya baat hui… Hamesha mujhe bina bole chale jate hain… Main unse baat hi nahi karungi… manayenge to bhi nahi manungi…”

She turned away, making a grumpy face, and was about to leave for her class when her mind replayed her words, “I don’t… I don’t… I don’t…”

Those words echoed inside her. Her eyes filled with pain. She turned again with tear-filled eyes. Her eyes started welling up badly. “Kahin woh… Ye maine kya keh diya… Unhe kahin meri baat ka bura… Mujhe kya zarurat thi aise kehne ki… How stupid I was… Unhe hurt kar diya… Par main to mazak kar rahi thi… Par unhe kaise pata… Ab main kya karungi… Unhe kaise manau… Is puri Mumbai mein kahaan dhoondhungi unhe… Ohh God… How can I be so dumb…”

She fell on the floor, totally breaking down.

“Heyy Babaji… Ab main kya karungi… Unhe kaise samjhaungi… Kahaan dhoondhungi unhe…”

Her heart sank, and she sat down on the stair as she realized she knew nothing about her man who had left her angrily.

Shehnaaz turned away with a grumpy face, ready to leave for her class, when her mind echoed with her own words, “I don’t… I don’t… I don’t….”

Those words reverberated painfully inside her, filling her eyes with tears. She turned back again, her vision blurring with the welling tears. “Oh God, what did I say? Did I hurt him with my words? Why did I say that? How stupid of me… I was just joking… How could he know? What will I do now? How will I make it up to him? Where in Mumbai will I find him… Oh God, how can I be so dumb?”

She fell to the floor, utterly breaking down. “Hey Waheguru Ji, what will I do now? How will I explain to him? Where will I find him?”

Her heart sank as she sat down on the stair, realizing she knew nothing about the man who had left her angrily except his name. Tears rolled down her cheeks continuously. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, not even that she was in college. It had been more than half an hour, and she was still in the same place where he had left her, still crying, not knowing what to do. She didn’t dare enter her class, her heart sinking with the thought of what if she never saw him again.

Her body felt numb with the thought. It felt as if all this was a bad dream that would disappear when she opened her eyes. She sighed and palmed her face. It was not a dream. It was the harsh reality that she had hurt him unintentionally. Her almond eyes were red from crying.

“No… I have to find him. I have to tell him he misunderstood me. I trust him completely.” Getting frantic, she got up from the floor and searched for him throughout the entire college, but he was nowhere to be found.

Restless, she left without meeting anyone. Her phone continued to ring in her bag, but she never realized. Her driver had her car parked outside the college and was surprised to see her, “Didi, kahin jana hai?”

Lost, Shehnaaz walked past him as if his voice never reached her. He immediately called Shehbaaz and narrated the entire scene.

Baaz was shocked, “What? You follow her immediately. Don’t let her go anywhere alone. She must be upset.” Saying so, Baaz disconnected the call and made a dash towards the cabin door.

The driver looked around to follow Shehnaaz, but there was no sign of her. Scared and worried, he looked around, running here and there, but couldn’t find her. He knew he was in deep trouble. His mind rushed to the last time Shehnaaz had done something similar. It was a mess.

He called Baaz again, “Bhayya, didi kahin nahi dikh rahi.”

Baaz had just started his car when he received the driver’s call again. The information shook him, “Fuck… why the hell did you leave her alone? Check everywhere. I’m coming.”

Baaz tried his best to call Shehnaaz, but she never picked up his call.

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Meanwhile, Sidharth angrily went to his office. He entered his cabin without talking to anyone.

Ritika entered his cabin with a knock, “Sir, wo Simla wala project….”

Sidharth furiously looked at her, “Did I give you permission to enter?”

She was scared by his sudden rude behavior, “I am sorry, sir, woh…”

Sidharth glared at her, “Leave right now.”

Ritika felt tears sting in her eyes, “Sir…”

Sidharth groaned, “Don’t let anyone enter my cabin until I call.”

Ritika nodded, looking down, “Right, sir.” Saying so, she left immediately.

Her eyes were filled with tears from his ruthlessness. She was sure something was wrong with him, but she didn’t dare to talk to him.

He locked his cabin from the inside so that no one could disturb him. He was angry enough to kill someone. His eyes were bursting with fire. Frustrated, he picked up a paperweight and threw it harshly on the floor, breaking it into pieces. Her back flashed in front of his eyes. Not because of her words, but he was angry at himself for not being able to gain her confidence, for getting involved in this stupid hide-and-seek game.

He was angry, and he was in deep pain. His heart was filled with tears. His breaths constricted in his throat. He was finding it difficult to breathe. He couldn’t speak a word. He opened a file, trying to distract his mind, but he couldn’t.

He was helpless. He could think of nothing but her. He dropped his head down on the desk, closing his eyes.

The moments of their dance flashed in front of his eyes.

His heart calmed a bit. The moment itself was so smooth, so romantic. He couldn’t stop himself from loving her more and more, thinking of her more and more.

Their love moments started to haunt him.

Her stupid question, “Aap jadugar ho?” He smiled, as if he were living the moment.

The way he had spoiled her lipstick. His heart started missing her already. He couldn’t decide. He was so confused. Was he angry that he couldn’t gain her trust?

Or was he sad with the thought that she wasn’t with him right now? That she was away?

She didn’t trust him, she said. The thought managed to slice a knife through his heart again. He had learned one thing from his mother: a relationship can’t exist without trust. Why didn’t she trust him? Was it because of this hide-and-seek game?

But then it just happened naturally. It was never his plan. He didn’t want his mother to go and ask for her hand. He didn’t want her to love him because she would be getting married to him. He wanted her to marry him because she loved him so much that she couldn’t stay without him.

Lost in his own grief, he assumed she would be in college.

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On the other hand, Shehnaaz was a girl long lost. She had no idea where she was walking, but she was walking aimlessly. She tried to search for him madly on the roads like a fool.

She was searching for a person she didn’t even know how he looked like. Wasn’t that the most absurd thing?

Still, she was searching for him. She looked like a fool, searching for an unknown person with tearful eyes on the streets of Mumbai.

She searched for him desperately, but failed. She couldn’t find him. She was broken like a fragile doll, with a tear-streaked face, like a fish taken out of water, struggling for life.

She wanted him, just him, at this moment. She felt as if she didn’t see him, she would die any moment. She couldn’t think of anything. What was she doing on the roads? Her car, her friends, her home… she was thoughtless.

She searched for him nonstop for hours and felt the rain showering heavily.

Anu, Mayank, Nisha, Ranbir, and Ankita came out of lectures. They waited impatiently for Shehnaaz, who never came.

Ranbir was worried sick, “Ye ladki pagal hai kya? 10 min bola tha, lec khatam ho gaye, aur abhi bhi pata nahi kaha hai…”

Mayank’s phone rang, and he was worried when he saw Shehnaaz’s veerji calling him. He picked up instantly and put it on speaker, “Ji veerji…”

Baaz was standing like a madman under the heavy rain, “Shehnaaz ka kisi se jhagda huva tha? Kisi ne kuch bola use?”

Everyone was confused with the questions, and Ranbir took a deep breath, “Veerji kaha hai woh? Usne subeh bola 10 minute me pohoch rahi hai, wo ayi hi nahi.”

Baaz brushed his hair back in frustration and told them whatever the driver had told him.

Ranbir freaked out, “Veerji, where is she? Woh thik toh hai?”

Nisha knew how he felt, “Ranbir, shant hoja na… Mayank, just call her, check where she is.”

Ranbir called Shehnaaz himself but sighed. It was switched off.

Baaz sighed, aware of the information, “Guys, please batao agar kisi ko kuch bhi pata hai, kisi ne kuch kaha usse.”

Ankita was in tears, worried for Shehnaaz, while Mayank spoke on the phone, “Veerji, bilkul nahi. Subah she was all fine when she had spoken to Ranbir.”

Baaz closed his eyes, “Thik hai, check with all your friends. I want to know who hurt her. You know she can’t handle it.”

Ranbir was in tears, and Nisha hugged him, “Relax, kuch nahi hoga usse.”

Baaz disconnected the line and decided to take police help. He had to know where she was.

Anu looked at them all, so freaked out, “Guys, tum log etna kyu react kar rahe ho? Shayad upset ho kisi baat se. Jab thik hogi, woh aa jayegi. Mere sath bhi aise hota hai kabhi kabhi.”

Ranbir got a bit angry, “Woh aisi nahi hai, Anu.”

Ankita hugged him to calm him down.

Nisha sighed, “Anu, you don’t know her. Woh jab bahot upset hoti hai, she loses control over herself. Bachpan se aisi hai woh. Usko bahot sambhalna padta hai. Last time jab usne khudko bedroom me lock kiya tha, she had come out with a bleeding hand.”

Mayank groaned, not sure what to do, “She is too emotional. She can’t bear pain, and she hurts herself.”

Anu was completely shocked with this new information. She herself started getting worried for Shehnaaz like hell.

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Sidharth was pacing restlessly in his cabin. Something was wrong somewhere. He could feel it. A weird frustration was growing inside him. He didn’t even tell her before leaving from there. He should have at least told her. Last night she was upset when he had disappeared without telling her.

Is she fine? Is she angry with him? It was post-lunch, but he didn’t feel like eating anything. All he wanted was her in his embrace, safe and secure. He couldn’t understand why he felt so scared suddenly.

He had her number, but he couldn’t call her. He never did yet. She didn’t trust him.

But then he wanted her to trust him. He wanted her to believe in him and his love. How will they build their relationship without trust?

He wanted to ask why she couldn’t trust him.

But then her actions and her words contradicted each other.

Her words said she didn’t trust him, but her actions said something else. She never stopped him from touching her, hugging her, or taking her in his embrace. She allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do to her.

She could never give that right to someone else, he knew.

Is it possible for her to submit herself to him without trusting him? The thought left him speechless. Of course, she trusted him.

He felt blood rush through his veins faster as he realized he misunderstood her. He hurt her unintentionally.

He just left her like that. She is just a baby. Did she cry when he did that? People call him right. He is ruthless.

Unable to bear his stupid behavior, he called her number, which he had long saved in his phone as Princess. It was switched off.

Worry and shock crossed his face.

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Baaz searched for Shehnaaz like a madman on the bustling streets of Mumbai amidst the heavy rain. His heart pounded with fear and worry, his mind racing with the memory of her capability to hurt herself when she was extremely upset. Tears streamed down his face as he fervently prayed to Waheguru Ji to keep her safe from herself.

Frustration gnawed at him, and he decided to seek the help of higher authorities in the police. He was at a loss for words on how to explain this to Papaji and Mumma—they would be devastated. The last time she had locked herself in her room, he had tried to break open the door, and Sidharth had almost jumped from the window to reach her. Only Baaz knew the turmoil he had gone through to save her.

In his frustration, he dialed the commissioner’s number, but just then, his eyes fell on the staircase of an old, deserted building, and his breath constricted. There she was—Shehnaaz. She was sitting like a lifeless doll, tears streaming down her cheeks, barefoot and forlorn. Leaving his car, Baaz ran towards her, his heart pounding. He stood in front of her, breathing heavily. His eyes fell on her bleeding feet, and he shrieked. It was almost late evening, and he had no idea how long she had been walking barefoot, how she had reached this place, or what had upset her so much. Her wrists bore multiple scratches, and he knew she had tried to hurt herself.

Lost in her misery, Shehnaaz still failed to see her brother until he sat beside her. Startled, she looked up, and then she broke down, crying even harder as she hugged him tightly, “Veerji…”

Baaz held her close, patting her head gently to soothe her pain, “Haan, bachhi… tera bhai hai na… sab thik hai… hmm… sab thik hai.”

She continued to cry, her nails digging into the skin of her wrist in an attempt to alleviate her inner turmoil. She longed for Sidharth. She needed him, needed to be in his arms, or she felt she would die. She wanted to tell him she trusted him. Would he never come to her again? Had she lost him forever?

Worried, Baaz freed her hand from her nails and picked her up, carrying her to his car and driving straight to their family doctor.

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Meanwhile, Sidharth kept trying to call her again and again, each attempt failing as her phone remained unreachable. His heart sank with worry. Was she upset with him? angry with him for abandoning her like that? She had every right to be upset. He was so stupid to have acted that way. She might not even have meant what she said. She trusted him—it was he who had failed to trust her. The mere thought buried him in guilt. He needed her to forgive him, needed her to take him back. What if She never spoke to him ever again after that.? What if she never let him hug her again? She had become his every breath in a matter of hours. He couldn’t survive without her.

Unable to concentrate on anything, Sidharth canceled his next meetings and left the office. Ritika had noticed his strange behavior but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. Sidharth decided to go to her college the next day to apologize for his stupid behavior. He thought of gifting her something and remembered how amazing she looked in her dress on the party night.

Smiling, he went shopping for her. It was his first time shopping for anyone. Even if his family needed anything, all he did was clear the bills; shopping was not his cup of tea. Designer Rajat Trivedi was surprised by Sidharth’s visit but welcomed him warmly. After chatting for a while, Rajat took Sidharth to the section they had discussed. Sidharth asked to be left alone, feeling embarrassed by his first shopping experience.

Once alone, Sidharth browsed through a few collections, supposed to feel happy but instead, an unknown restlessness coursed through his veins. He felt something was wrong somewhere. Lost in thought, his skin brushed against a sharp edge of decor, and blood oozed from his elbow. Wincing, he looked at the blood and felt a weird sensation in his heart. What was it? What was happening to him?

He selected a few dresses half-heartedly and left once the bills were cleared. He didn’t bother to get the cut dressed as he purchased a few chocolates, knowing his little princess would love them more than the costly dresses.

“I will make it up to you, baby. I promise. I’m sorry I hurt you, mera bachha. Fir kabhi nahi karunga, I promise. Tumhara Sidharth hai thoda sa ajeeb. Jaisa bhi hai, ab tumhe hi sambhalna hai na,” his heart kept mumbling. He imagined her having a feeling of déjà vu and chuckled at his childish behavior.

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The doctor glared at Baaz while dressing Shehnaaz’s wounds, and Baaz requested her not to say anything in front of Shehnaaz to avoid upsetting her more. Once done, Baaz took her home. Jasbeera Ji and Mahi were shocked to see Sana’s state. Before Jasbeera Ji could say anything, Baaz signaled her to understand the situation and act accordingly.

“Mom, Shehnaaz ki favorite chocoshake leke aao. She is not well,” Baaz said, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

Shehnaaz didn’t look at anyone; her eyes were lost, her mind fixated on one word—Sidharth. Mahi started to shake, seeing Shehnaaz’s state. She had seen her like this before when she was young. Baaz signaled her to leave Sana alone as he made her lie on the bed. Jasbeera Ji came in with the chocoshake and sat beside her. She tried to hold back her tears as she saw the dressings on Sana’s hands and feet.

Shehnaaz hugged her mother, “Main bahot buri hun na… sabko hurt karti hun…”

Jasbeera Ji hugged her daughter tightly, “Nahi beta… mera puttar sabse achha hai,” she said, patting her back lovingly and wiping away a tear that rolled down Baaz’s face.

“Nahi… main buri hun… main dil dukhaya… hurt kiya…” Shehnaaz cried, thinking about Sidharth, “Mujhe akele rehna hai…”

Baaz sighed, knowing this was just the beginning. He had no idea what she would do next, but they couldn’t go against her wishes. She might react even more strongly.

He took her hands in his and placed them on his head, “Tujhe akele rehna hai, reh. Par tuze mere sar ki kasam agar aur hurt kiya khudko toh…”

Shehnaaz broke into tears and palmed her face. Jasbeera Ji kissed her forehead and took Baaz with her, who was reluctant to leave. They knew she needed to be alone for some time. Baaz hoped she would respect his swear and not do anything silly.

By the time Baaz and Jasbeera Ji came out, Sana’s friends had already reached there. Ankita hugged Jasbeera Ji, “Aunty, kaisi hai woh abhi?”

Baaz had called Mayank and informed him that he had found Shehnaaz and was taking her home. Jasbeera Ji patted Ankita’s cheek, “Thik hai woh abhi beta. Ro na… woh kuch der akele rehna chahti hai… bas.”

Ranbir looked away to hide his tears. Baaz gave him a brotherly hug, “Woh thik hai… tum log relax karo… maa ke hath ke special aloo ke parathe khao… she will be fine.”

The gang immediately ran to the dining table, already rolling parathas, while Anu felt uncomfortable. Jasbeera Ji looked at the new girl and patted her cheek, “Arey, koi mujhe introduce toh karao.”

Ankita came running in, “Chachi maa, ye Anu hai… humari new friend.”

Anu smiled at Jasbeera Ji, “Shehnaaz thik toh hai na?”

Jasbeera Ji sighed, “Nahi hai… but ho jayegi. She needs time.”

Anu nodded understandingly and immediately took her leave, making an excuse. Something was eating her up. She couldn’t see Shehnaaz like that. She had always seen Shehnaaz as a bubbly girl who loved life. Worried, she came home and saw her mother sitting in the balcony adjacent to the living room. Making her way there, she saw her mother busy with a file and sat beside her.

Rita Ji smiled at her daughter, which faded slowly, “Anu, kya baat hai beta… itna upset kyu hai?”

Anu rested her head on her mother’s shoulder, “Maa… meri friend Shehnaaz… she has locked herself in her room…”

The bag filled with dresses and chocolates fell from Sidharth’s hands as he stood frozen, hearing his sister’s words.

What did she mean by Shehnaaz has locked herself in her room?

Anu continued, “Woh subah se missing thi… sham ko uske bhai ko mili woh… aur ab usne khudko lock kar liya hai… woh takleef mein hai, Maa.”

His eyes widened in shock and fear as he heard his sister. He had been trying to call her but had never managed to reach her. Her phone had been continuously out of reach. He was worried about her and knew Anu was the only one who could give him some information. Here he came, with the dress and chocolates he had bought for her, only to hear

she was not fine.

His instincts had been right. His heart churned in fear as he picked up the messed bag and dashed towards his car. No no no please.. His Naaz… his jaan… his love. What had happened to her? Was she not fine? Mere hote hue koi takleef use chhu nahi sakti… mere hote hue… dard uske paas bhi nahi ja sakta… to fir Anu ne aise kyu kaha… nothing made sense to him.

His heart felt like a knife was slicing through it, making him groan in pain as his eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t see anything in front of him. Wiping them away mercilessly, his fingers shook as he tried to open the car door. He was freaking out. He threw the bag, and his car zoomed through the gates of Shukla Mansion.

“Baby… Naaz… are you fine… what happened, mera bachha?” were the questions he wanted to ask her. He urged to have her in his arms, safe and secure. His sister said she was missing from the morning. Where was she? Was it because of him? Did she do that because he left her alone in the morning? It was so horribly stupid of him to assume she might have gone to her lecture. Where was she? It had been raining heavily since morning. Did she take care of herself? Why had she locked herself in her room? “Please, baby… hurt me… hurt your Sidharth but don’t do anything to my baby.”

How could he have been so rude to her? He had hurt her. He hated himself for hurting her. He wanted to see her, hug her. She probably hadn’t eaten anything. “Why did I leave? Why?” He should have listened to her. “Oh God, what have I done?”

His heart felt numb and dead. His heart stopped beating. His body felt numb. He felt like a lifeless body without her. He couldn’t bear his sister’s words.

His breath choked in his throat. He started suffocating as if he couldn’t breathe anymore. He felt as if he would die any moment. He drove as fast as he could towards Gill Mansion, wiping his tears away every time they rolled down. “Aisa nahi ho sakta… wo aise kaise..? nahi.. wo khud nahi hurt karegi.. use koi haqq nahi khudko hurt karne ka… wo meri hai… aur mujhe etni badi saza kaise de sakti hai.. nahi.. usne kuch nahi hoga.. jaan… please… tumhe meri kasam hai… tum khudko kuch nahi karogi.. I need you, mera bachha.. I want you.. I am sorry.. I am really sorry, jaan…”

He was heartless, lifeless. The fear of losing his love forever killed him. His guilt haunted him. How could he doubt her, her love, her trust? She had always trusted him unconditionally. She never protested any of his claims, never asked for his identity. She just loved him unconditionally, didn’t even need to see his face, whether he was handsome or not. She just accepted that she was his forever. She never doubted him if he left her.

Driving like a madman, he screamed loudly and slammed his hand hard on something near the music player. A sharp object sliced through his skin, and blood started oozing out. He didn’t care. His heart only cried out, “Me tumhe kuch nahi hone dunga…”

He stopped the car at a distance, unsure of what to say, whom to talk to, or how to meet her. But he had to. He couldn’t leave without making sure she was fine. He went through the back and made his way to a window, seeing the balcony door of one of the bedrooms open. He hoped it was Shehnaaz’s room. He knew he could land in big trouble if anyone else saw him, but he didn’t care.

He somehow managed to get to the balcony. The room was filled with darkness. He took a few reluctant steps, reaching the door of the balcony that led to the bedroom. He stood rooted to the spot as the sight in front of him made him want to puke.