Chapter 6

After dinner, Sidharth reclined in his bed, holding Vihaan close. The warmth of his baby’s body against his own was strange but comforting. His fingers gently combed through Vihaan’s soft hair, trying to absorb this rare, precious tranquility.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Sidharth experienced a profound sense of peace. Vihaan was finally returning to his usual self, and Sidharth’s heart, though still aching from the loss of Payal, found solace in this small, comforting presence. The fear of losing Vihaan’s smile had been a constant shadow, especially since Vihaan had been so deeply attached to Payal. Sidharth had been terrified of how he would manage without her. But now, as he gazed down at his sleeping son, his heart began to ease.

He missed Payal more than he had ever imagined. Her absence was a void in his daily routine, a stark reminder of how integral she had been. Her calm demeanor, her quiet strength, and the way she had quietly but effectively managed everything—they were irreplaceable. Now, with her gone, Sidharth faced the daunting reality of raising Vihaan alone. It felt like a sentence of loneliness, a life with only his son for company.

The other day, he had overheard his mother and uncle discussing the possibility of his second marriage. The conversation had infuriated him. It had been less than six months since Payal’s passing, and they were already contemplating another marriage for him. At forty years old and a father, how could they think of such a thing? He had shouted and argued vehemently, unable to comprehend their insensitivity. His mother had pleaded with him, citing Vihaan’s need for a mother’s love, but Sidharth’s heart was resolute. No one could ever love Vihaan like Payal had. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else potentially causing him pain.

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Shehnaaz lay in bed, feeling the weight of loneliness press heavily upon her. Her thoughts drifted back to the afternoon when Vihaan had been sleeping in her arms. A sad smile graced her lips as she remembered the warmth of the little boy against her chest. She longed for that closeness again, for him to be there with her now.

The feelings she was experiencing were new and unfamiliar. She hadn’t realized how deeply she had become attached to Vihaan. This motherly instinct was a stark contrast to who she thought she was, but it felt as though this new part of her was meant to be. It was as if she was always destined to care for Vihaan, to be his mother.

But how long could this secret life continue? What would happen when Sidharth discovered the truth? She had watched him from afar, hidden behind the trees in the garden. He was no longer a boy but a man—mature, stern, with a rugged beard that gave him an intimidating presence. His very aura made her anxious. If he ever learned what she had been doing, she feared the consequences would be severe.

Yet, despite his rough exterior, Sidharth’s love for Vihaan melted her heart. She couldn’t help but admire the way he cared for his son. It was a stark contrast to the stern man she had observed. What would she do when the time came for Sidharth to take Vihaan away from her?

Sanju’s voice broke through her thoughts, startling her. “Kya soch rahi hai baby?” Sanju asked, concern evident in her tone. “Just… Vihaan ke bare mein soch rahi thi… Use kahi fir se fever na aya ho.”

Sanju’s gaze was filled with worry as she looked at Shehnaaz. “Tuze kya ho gaya hai Sana? Tu us bachhe se bahot jyada attach ho rahi hai. Baby, the circumstances…”

Shehnaaz cut her off with a sharp sigh, feeling restless. “I know, okay… I know I’m attached to Vihaan, but…”

She paused, struggling to articulate her feelings. Sanju’s concern deepened as she watched her friend wrestle with her emotions.

“I don’t know,” Shehnaaz admitted, her voice trembling. “Mujhe Vihaan ko fikr hoti rehti hai. Nahi main control kar pa rahi. Ek pal bhi uske bina adhura sa lagta hai.” Her breaths quickened, betraying her anxiety. “Jaise use meri zaroorat hai aur main uske paas nahi hoon…”

Sanju sighed, at a loss for how to help her best friend. “Ye track galat ja raha hai, Sana. Samajh, woh family kabhi tumhe Vihaan ke karib bhi nahi aane degi. Kab tak chalega aisa aur kyun…”

Frustration flared in Shehnaaz as she looked away, unable to find a satisfactory answer. “Mujhe nahi pata… Mujhe Vihaan ka khayal rakhna hai bas… Jaise bhi possible ho.”

Sanju rubbed her forehead, fear creeping in. For the first time, she was genuinely scared of Shehnaaz’s behavior. She couldn’t understand her friend’s complex emotions and feared that this path would only lead to more pain. She noticed how Vihaan clung to Shehnaaz, searching for the mother he had lost, and she feared the impending storm.

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Shehnaaz fiddled with the band of her wristwatch as she waited for Arjun. She hoped he wouldn’t arrive drunk. Her relief was palpable when she saw him approaching with steady steps, indicating he wasn’t intoxicated.

But her relief was short-lived. Arjun’s pale face and dark circles under his eyes told a story of their own. He had lost his usual glow, his trademark smirk absent. Shehnaaz’s heart sank at the sight.

Arjun took a seat opposite her, his eyes meeting hers with a cold, distant look. “Bol,” he said, his tone flat.

“Ye kya haal bana rakha hai tune?” Shehnaaz asked softly, hoping for a normal conversation.

Arjun shook his head dismissively. “Does it matter? Chhod, bol kya hua…”

His lack of engagement with her concern only frustrated Shehnaaz further. She ordered food for both of them, knowing he might not have been eating properly. Arjun frowned but kept silent, and Shehnaaz was grateful for that.

“Tuze nahi lagta jo faisla maine liya woh sahi hai?” She asked earnestly.

Arjun responded immediately, “Bilkul nahi lagta. Galat hai ye. Humara rishta todne se sab kuch pehle jaisa nahi hoga. Woh family fir bhi dukh me hi hogi, aur 2 aur log dukhi honge—tu aur main.”

Shehnaaz’s eyes clouded as she listened. “Aur agar Sidharth ji ki jagah tum hote, aur Payal ki jagah main hoti toh…”

Arjun fell silent, contemplating her question. What if their roles had been reversed and the person responsible was now seeking to rebuild her life?

Arjun finally spoke, “Toh waqt ke na tu. Am I denying…” He ignored her question. “Par tu rishta hi toh degi. Meri feelings ka kya, Sana? Pyar karta hun main tuze. Shayad tujhe itna pyar mujhe nahi kiya, is liye mera dard tu nahi samajh sakti…”

Shehnaaz felt a pang in her heart at his words. It was the truth, and it echoed the sentiments Sanju had expressed before. “Agar aisa hai toh for ye rishta hi galat hai na… You deserve to be with someone who can give you the love you need.”

Frustration boiled over in Arjun. He slammed his hand on the table, drawing attention from others. Shehnaaz glared at him, urging him to calm down. The food arrived, and they ate in silence.

The garden beside the restaurant was calm, a stark contrast to the turmoil within. Arjun’s pain and desperation were evident as he leaned his forehead against Shehnaaz’s, a gesture he had always cherished. Despite the tenderness of the moment, Shehnaaz knew she couldn’t continue their relationship. She had agreed to marry him because of family pressure and his persistence, but now, with the turmoil in her life, she couldn’t give him the happiness he deserved. She hoped he would eventually understand and forgive her.

“I’m sorry, Arjun,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “But I can’t be selfish enough to marry and start a happy life when I’ve ruined someone’s family. I deserve this punishment. I’m sorry I’m putting you through this pain.”

Anger flashed in Arjun’s eyes. “You’re right. You’re selfish. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been spending time with that kid. Are you out of your mind? And that stupid kid…”

Shehnaaz’s eyes widened in shock. “Arjun, are you keeping an eye on me? This isn’t acceptable. I know you’re upset, but if you say one word against Vihaan, you lose me as a friend, too. The poor baby has lost his mother. How can you bring him into this? I’m ashamed of you.”

Tears spilled from Shehnaaz’s eyes as she moved away from him. Arjun’s face flushed with guilt as he realized the depth of his mistake. He reached out for her hand in desperation. “I’m sorry, Sana. Please… I just…”

Shehnaaz pulled her hand away. “And I thought you understood me. Remember this, Arjun: I will do everything in my power to keep my baby happy. He is mine now—to care for, to love.”

With those firm words, Shehnaaz walked away, leaving Arjun alone with his regret. The gentle sound of raindrops began to fall, blending with the noise of the city around her. Shehnaaz felt a renewed determination to protect Vihaan and make her decisions with integrity, no matter how difficult they might be.

Arjun feared this always.. that one day she would leave him… He loved her madly but she didn’t..deep down he knew she didn’t.. but she cares for him..he was always important to her and that’s all that mattered…

He persisted her for years to be his and she agrees because she didn’t have any goal.. but now he feared she wouldn’t come to him.. he had seen a conviction in her eyes.. a goal to keep vihaan happy…

But he won’t let her leave him.. he has to try to convince her again… Sanju.. yes.. he wil talk to Sanju .. he can’t leave without shehnaz.. he can’t…

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Sidharth paced his study, trying to focus on the file before him, but an inexplicable restlessness gnawed at him. This feeling had been growing since yesterday, and no matter how much he tried to concentrate, he couldn’t shake it. He had called home several times to ensure everything was alright—Vihaan was sound asleep and seemed to have the energy to play in the evening. Yet, something felt off. It wasn’t the usual pang of missing Payal; this was different, a deeper, unsettling sense of unease.

He couldn’t pinpoint the source of his discomfort. Why do I feel this way? he thought. What’s happening to me? It was as though a part of him sensed something important was amiss, but he couldn’t grasp what it was.

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Shehnaaz had been crying silently for hours, her tears a reflection of the inner turmoil she felt. She wiped her face and took a deep breath before stepping into the garden, determined to keep her sadness hidden from Vihaan.

A joyful shout broke her reverie. “Sanu Maa!” Vihaan’s excited cry reached her ears, and an instant smile touched her lips. She turned to see him running toward her, his little legs moving with enthusiasm. She scooped him up into a tight embrace, her heart swelling with love.

Vihaan giggled, his face scrunched up adorably. “Eww Sanu, Vihaan’s face all sticky sticky,” he protested with a playful grimace.

Shehnaaz chuckled, unable to stop herself from showering him with kisses. “My sweet baby,” she cooed, nuzzling him. “Did Papa tell you when you’re going back to school?”

“Yes, tomorrow,” Vihaan replied, his smile faltering. “But no Payal Maa to make Vihaan’s favorite…”

Her heart cracked at the mention of Payal. Vihaan was such an innocent soul, and it hurt her to see him suffer because of her presence. “Don’t worry, Sanu Maa will make your favorites,” she said with forced cheerfulness, trying to distract him. “Tell me what you want to eat tomorrow.”

Vihaan’s mood brightened as he rattled off a list of dishes. Shehnaaz promised to fulfill his wishes, her heart aching with the weight of her own emotions.

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Later that evening, as Sidharth coaxed Vihaan to share what he had done in the garden, the little boy’s giggles were his only response. Sidharth couldn’t help but smile at his son’s happiness. He hugged Vihaan close, the sweet aroma of his baby enveloping him in a calming peace.

This new routine had become a cherished part of his day. Sidharth sometimes accompanied Vihaan to the garden, feeling a strange yet comforting sensation of being watched. He had heard Vihaan frequently mention “Sanu Maa,” a name that intrigued him. Sidharth decided to speak with Raghav to uncover more about this mysterious figure.

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Meanwhile, Shehnaaz’s secret visits to the garden continued. She felt a pang of jealousy every time she saw Vihaan bonding with Sanju. She considered Sanju a nuisance, worried that she was corrupting her precious child with her antics.

Raghav watched from a distance, satisfied with how Shehnaaz cared for Vihaan. She had taken over many of Payal’s responsibilities, and though he knew Sidharth and Anu might disapprove, he was willing to take that risk for Vihaan’s happiness.

Rita Ji, an observer of Shehnaaz’s activities, was curious about the girl who spent so much time with Vihaan. Despite her attempts to approach Shehnaaz, she always seemed to slip away. Rita Ji was determined to find out more, though she sensed something unusual in Shehnaaz’s behavior.

It had been 2 days that vihaan didn’t get a chance or wasn’t taken to the garden and he was beyond upset about it. Payal’s death anniversary was around the corner. Hence, Sidharth had kept the pooja at home. Payal’s parents had come 2 days ahead of the puja to stay with them and wanted to spend as much time as possible with vihaan…

The puja completed and vihaan’s innocent mind couldn’t understand the reason of sadness on everyone’s face.

Vihaan sat with a grumpy face at one corner of the backyard when Raghav approched him, rather aware of the reason of the grumpy face, “what is my champ doing here..?”

“Vihaan want sanu maa.. vihaan miss maa.. vihaan want maa here with vihaan..” vihaan’s voice cracked as he missed Sana. He missed his maa.. he had no idea where did his payal maa go. She loved him and never left him alone earlier…

The little innocent mind didn’t understand when his Sana maa found a place in his pure heart. He feared loosing the love and care of this mother too…

Raghav could very well understand the feelings and the pain vihaan was going too… Sighing, he sat beside vihaan and wiped away the soft layer of tears that had rolled out of vihaan’s eyes, “hum jayenge na sanu maa se milne.. promise..

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for vihaan at the moment..

Upset, vihaan sat of Raghav’s lap and rested his head into Raghav’s chest, “why sanu maa not with vihaan.. no sanu maa.. no payal maa.. no one loves vihaan.. bring sanu maa here chachu please ..” his baby voice soft cracked with the need of a mother’s love.

His teary eyes looked at Raghav with hope and this cracked Raghav’s heart.. crying, vihaan ran away from there…

Raghav was unable to understand how to handle this situation.. if shehnaaz would have been some random girl, he would have talked about her to Rita maa for the marriage.. he is sidharth’s best friend. He understood the broken form of sidharth which was covered by his outer strong appearance.. his brother needed some one to love him and take care just like payal used to do..

And vihaan.. damnn.. how will these two leave a lonely life..? they don’t deserve this..

But Shehnaaz.. she is the very woman who is unintentionally responsible for Payal’s death.. vihaan accepted her.. but sidharth.. he never will.. the idea itself sounded stupid one.. why would one want to marry the same woman who killed his wife…?

But vihaan.. it doesn’t look like he will forget Sana… Her place in his life is non replacable just like payal bhabhi’s.. and if vihaan looses shehnaz too.. he will break.. Raghav was sure about it…

Raghav was so lost in his thoughts that he never realised when Rita ji came and took a sit beside him.

“Ye sanu maa kaun hai..?” Rita ji’s question grabbed Raghav’s attention and he looked at Rita maa with a puzzled face.. what would he answer her…?

“Raghav…” Rita ji shook him a little to speak, “me kuch puchh Rahi hun Raghav. Vihaan kise sanu maa bulata hai…?”

“Badi maa, it’s a little complicated.. but believe me I tried to control..”

Raghav trailed off unable to understand how to explain all this mess.

Rita ji had somehow guessed it, “Jo bhi hai.. bata mujhe.. mene aksar ek ladki ko vihaan ke sath garden me khelte dekha hai… Ye buddhi nazar sab padh leti hai.. vihaan and us ladki me ek ajeeb sa rishta mehsus kiya hai mene… Mene kayi baar koshish ki us ladki se milne ki but mujhe karib ata dekh woh kahi gayab ho jati hai… Wohi hai na uski sanu maa..?”

Raghav heard Rita maa patiently and guessed Shehnaaz’s turmoil behind not wanting to meet Rita maa. She must be fearing they will take vihaan away from her…

“Bas yahi ek baat mujhe samajh nahi ati ke mujhe dekhte hi woh kyun chali jati hai… aur yahi baat dara bhi deti hai.. kahin woh vihaan ke sath kuch galat… “

Raghav understood her motherly instinct. “Agar ye baat hai toh aap ne sidharth se baat kyun nahi ki..” Raghav asked to understand her mindset further.

Rita ji stared somewhere randomly, “pata nahi Raghav.. Kahan na.. un dono me ek ajeeb sa rishta mehsus kiya hai mene.. us ladki ne mere vihaan ki khoyi Hui muskurahat vapas la di.. vihaan ke liye har chiz lati hai woh jo vihaan ko pasand hai. Mera dil kehta hai ke woh galat nahi hai… Pata nahi kyu…”

Raghav smiled softly realising his Rita maa feels the same way as him, “badi maa, me jo bhi bataunga usse please aap patiently sunna. Please react mat karna..”

Rita ji nodded her head in agreement, though she felt a weirdly conscious..

Raghav took a deep breath, “aap ko pata hai payal bhabhi ka accident kaise huva..?” Raghav’s sudden question confused Rita maa and she shook her head.

Raghav continued softly, “ek ladki car drive kar rahi thi.. us road ke paas wali shop se ek Chhota bachha apni maa ka hath chhodkar road pe bhaga…”

Rita ji gasped at the new found information while Raghav continued with a sigh, “woh ladki car ke samne achanak se bachhe ko dekh dar gayi aur usne car ghuma di taki woh bachhe ko bacha paye… Aur woh car jakar payal bhabhi ko…” He trailed off unable to complete the sentence.

Tears rolled down from Rita ji’s eyes while Raghav continued further, “us ladki ne jaan bujhkar nahi kiya badi maa. agar woh car dusri aur nahi ghumati toh woh bachha..” he trailed off again with a sigh and continued, “me janta hun aur samajhata bhi hun ke humne payal bhabhi ko kho diya par us ladki ki sachme galati nahi thi badi maa… The circumstances were inevitable…”

Raghav expected Rita ji to say something but realised she was too shocked to say anything. Hence, he spoke further, “us ladki ne khud ko police ke hawale Kiya but jo bachha road pe bhaga tha..uski maa ne adalat me gavahi di.. jiski vajah se use ladki ko nirdosh chhod diya. Par us ladki ne khud ko maaf nahi Kiya.. uski shadi thi kuch din me jo usne cancel kardi kyunki.. kyunki woh kisi aur ki basi basayi zindagi kharab kar apni nayi duniya kaise basati..”

Rita ji looked at Raghav with surprise amidst tears..

Raghav smiled sadly and nodded his head before taking Rita maa’s hands in hers, “ye wohi ladki hai.. Shehnaaz.. vihaan ki sanu maa…”

Raghav felt Rita ji take her hand away in shock.. like the earth had slipped out of her feet all of sudden..

“pichhle ek saal se woh ladki vihaan ka khayal rakh Rahi hai.. uski har khushi ko usne apna bana liya hai.. vihaan ki ankhon me ek ansu bhi usse bardasht nahi hota.. vihaan ke liye Roz tiffin bhejti hai uske school… Uski har chiz ka khayal rakhti hai.. vihaan ko bukhar ata hai toh uski jaan adhi ho jati hai… Unka rishta mene bhi mehsus kiya hai badi maa…” Raghav felt out of breath with the speed he spoke.. he wanted to express their bond as much as he could…

Rita ji got up and walked back and forth in frustration at the criticality of the situation. She was unable to understand how to react.. that girl.. she is reason of their Payal’s untimely death.. she couldn’t understand if to hate that girl or to be thankful of taking care of vihaan..

Raghav got up too, “jab mujhe pehli baar pata chala, mene Shehnaaz ko vihaan se milne se mama kiya ye sochkar ke kahi uska koi galat motive toh nahi.. but I was wrong.. us ladki ka koi galat intention nahi hai badi maa.. bus woh vihaan me kho gayi hai.. usne jaise apni puri zindagi vihaan ke naam kardi hai… Ajeeb hai unka rishta… Vihaan ko bukhar aa gaya tha kyunki uski sanu maa mere kehne par usse Milne nahi aayi…”

Rita ji took a deep breath, “Raghav ye sab.. woh ladki is Ghar ka hissa kabhi nahi ban sakti.. payal… Ye sab…. Sidharth kabhi accept nahi karega.. tuze andaza bhi hai agar use ye sab pata chala toh…”

Raghav shook his head with a soft chuckle.. of course he knew Sidharth Shukla.. he would almost kill raghav and but he doesn’t care as far as vihaan is happy, “janta hun badi maa, sidharth ye sab sunke bahot react karega .. but, filhal mere liye vihaan sabse important hai.. uski khushi shehnaz me hai.. us bachhe ne shehnaz me apni maa dhund Li hai kyunki woh had se jyada pyar karti hai vihaan ko…”

Rita ji rubbed her forehead as sadness consumed her. Raghav took her hands in his once again, “aap ko hi kuch karna hoga maa.. vihaan Tut jayega agar uski sanu maa ko kisine bhi usse dur Kiya.. mujhe nahi pata ke Shehnaaz sidharth ki zindagi me konsi jagah hasil kar payegi.. uski zindagi ka hissa hogi bhi ya nahi… par maa vihaan ke liye, woh uski maa ban chuki hai.. aur ab ye rishta koi nahi Tod sakta..”

Rita ji shook her head in restlessness, “sidharth nahi accept karega ye sab…”

Raghav knew that but it somehow angered him today, “badi maa, sidharth ki zidd me hun kahi vihaan ko na kho bethe..” Raghav’s words made Rita ji look at him in fear while Raghav continued, “payal bhabhi ab kabhi vapas nahi aa sakti.. vihaan ko aise insan ki jarurat hai jo usse payal bhabhi jitna pyar de aur ye Shehnaaz ke alava koi nahi kar sakti.. vihaan ko uski sanu maa uske paas chahiye.. is Ghar me chahiye..”

“Me janta hun ke ye bahot hi ajeeb hai… par sahi galat ke aage bhi toh kuch hota hai na badi naa… ab sab aap ke hath me me.. mujhse Jo ban padega me karunga…” With that Raghav turned to leave when Rita ji’s words stopped him.

“Me us ladki se milna chahti hun.. Shehnaaz se…”

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Sanju rubbed her forehead in frustration as she walked back and forth in the living room, “Arjun tu samajhana hi nahi chahta… Shehnaaz apna faisla nahi badlegi…”

Arjun got up from the sofa too in frustration, “you are telling me this for the nth time and I am telling you I won’t accept this bullshit.. Shehnaaz is not in a right state of mind par tu Sanju.. tu uski dost hai na.. tuze uski bhalayi kisme hai woh nahi samajhata.. tuh bhi usko support kar rahi hai..”

Sanju glared at him but then his paled face stopped her from lashing out, “dekh Arjun, mujhe pata hai ki uski vihaan ke sath attachment sahi nahi hai.. but she is guilt ridden and… godd she is completely involved in that kid.. ab uska mind koi change nahi kar sakta.. me sirf usse khush dekhna chahti hun.. agar woh tujhse shadi nahi karna chahti.. toh is jabardasti ke rishte ke sath tu bhi khush kaise rahega..”

Arjun glared at her for speaking non sense, “jabardasti ka rishta..? What the fuck are you talking about.. faltu me judgemental ho rahi hai… Shehnaaz was happily getting married to me before this shit happened..”

“Exactly, this shit has happened and everything is different now. I know you love her.. but we don’t hurt our loved one or force them to do something that they don’t want to do… You are not understanding her…”

Her words insulted his ego and he chuckled sarcastically, ” tu mujhe sikha Rahi hai pyar ke bare me.. tu.. jisne kabhi zindagi me kisi se pyar nahi Kiya woh mujhe sikhayegi…”

His words froze her as if he had slashed a knife straight through her heart… The very person she had fallen in love with as a teenager.. the person she buried her love for… As she knew he loved Shehnaaz.. she buried her teenage love for his happiness and never ever looked at any other man… She let go of her love for his happiness… She still remembered how heart broken she was on her 18th birthday when she had decided to express her love for him and instead he told he loved Shehnaaz and asked her to help him get Shehnaaz.. she knew he never knew her love for him but still.. how could he speak to her like this…

She turned herself into the coolest girl and never let her feelings affects her friendship with shehnaz or Arjun.

Her chain of thoughts broke as he continued to insult her, unaware of the storm within her, “kisi se pyar karne ke dil chahiye.. jo tere paas nahi hai.. toh ek kaam kar zindagi me aur apna ye bhashan kisi aur ko de….”

“Hmm..” that’s all she managed to mumble before walking away as her tears started to flow freely.

Arjun froze as he watched her walk away with tears.. this was the side of Sanju they may have never imagined… She never cried no matter what.. she never got emotional.. though he was rude with his words but it was a fact…

Why did she cry today..? Why didn’t she fight back to defend herself.. guilt ate him once again as he realised he hurt Sanju.. they have been best friends all their life and he shouldn’t have been so rude to her.. she was only trying to defend shehnaz, something that pinched his hear.. she understood Shehnaaz but she didn’t understand him… He was her best friend too..

Brushing his hair back in frustration, he ran behind her and pushed door open before walking in her room.

Sanju was fumbling as she was trying to pull out a cigerette from the packet.. she hardly smoke and whenever she did, she wasn’t okay.

He approached her instantly and snatched the packet out of her hand making her hiss at him before she looked away, “ja yaha se Arjun. I need to be alone right now..”

“I am sorry.. i shouldn’t have…” Arjun started only to be interupted by Sanju, “i don’t need you fucking sorry Arjun.. leave..”

Sighing, he pulled her into his arms to relax and like a broken cord she fight against his before giving in.. she cried into his chest, “me insan nahi hun.. meri feelings nahi hai..?”

Arjun didn’t mean to hurt her like this, “I didn’t mean…”

Sanju cut him sharply, “no.. you did mean it. How dare you say I can not love someone.. i loved you.. you bastard..”

Arjun’s arms loosened around her as he stumbled back a little to state at her shock, “Sanju.. I think…” He thought he misheard her..

“No.. you listen to me today.. i loved you.. i loved you all these years when you were in love with Shehnaaz.. and I fucking still love you… ” She grabbed his collar in frustration as the hidden storm within her finally burst, “but Mera pyar tere pyar jaise selfish nahi hai.. I gave up on my feelings because I knew you loved Shehnaaz and i wanted to see you happy…”

Arjun had no idea what was she talking about.. she loved him.. she had feelings for him all these years.. why didn’t she tell him.. what a stupid question.. he has been in love with Shehnaaz ever since he remembered living.. he was so obsessed with shehnaz that he never even looked at anyone else…

His chain of thoughts broke as he hears her mumble, “I have a heart… I fucking have a heart… I..” he felt her tears wet his shirt and realised she was hugging him tight before she pulled away and turned her back to him, “this conversation never happened. Forget I said anything and we can get back to normal.. I’ll try to speak to Shehnaaz once again but i….”

She wad interupted rudely as he turned her to face him in a jerk.

“Arjun..” she mumbled last before he slammed his lips against her..

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It had been a week since puja was done and Sidharth couldn’t believe how fast the time ran.. it still felt like yesterday when they were preparing for vihaan’s last birthday.. his next birthday was coming soon.. there was a sadness that contiued to engulf him for past one week..

His mind was wrapped around the conversation that took place between him and his little vihaan on the puja day.

Flashback..

Sidharth had just completed the puja and walked around to see where vihaan was, that’s when he found vihaan running towards him with teary eyes.

Worried, he instantly picked up vihaan in his arms and cupped his face, “vihaan, what’s wrong baby..?”

“Da… Daa.. vihaan maa… Miss.. no love vihaan da…” Vihaan was literally fumbling with words as he continued to cry and it broke sidharth watching his son in tears.. he couldn’t even say daddy.. he missed his mother that much sidharth managed to understand between his shutters…

Sidharth wiped his tears away and pecked randomly on his forehead to relax him, “daddy loves vihaan so much.. dadi, bade dada dadi, Anu buwa, Raghav chachu everyone loves vihaan..”

Vihaan shook his head in denial, “vihaan maa chahiye.. i miss her daddy..”

“I miss her too vihaan..” sidharth finally accepted in front of his son and hugged him closer, “but daddy hai na vihaan ke paas.. Haan bachha… Please don’t cry..”

Vihaan stared at his father’s paled face, “daddy, sanu maa ko le aao na..”

His earnest request put sidharth in puzzle as he had no idea who he was referring to.. he had heard sidharth mumbling sanu maa in his sleep but this was the first time vihaan had uttered that name in front of him. Till now, he was under impression that he might be dreaming something but no…

“Who sanu maa..?”

Sidharth’s question made vihaan bite his tongue as he realised he just revealed their secret, “vihaan dadi chahiye..” vihaan wrigelled to get out of sidharth’s arms who put him down and vihaan ran away instantly.

Sidharth watched his son running.. who was he talking about.. who is sanu maa…

Back to present.

Sidharth couldn’t get rid of the teary face of vihaan.. who was he talking about.. who was this sanu maa.. how come he had no idea about it.. he realised vihaan missed that someone sanu maa a lot.. maybe because he was at home two days.. maybe that is someone from garden.. because vihaan didn’t get to visit garden during those days…

Sidharth tried to remember if he knew anyone in the name sanu or something from garden or otherwise but couldn’t remember any.. he decided to speak to his mother about it..

He knew he has to live alone but vihaan is a kid and he needs a mother’s love.. but who will love vihaan like payal…

And what about himself.. sidharth knew he will never be able to give Payal’s place to anyone.. he was beyond that marriage phase now… Why life has to be so unpredictable.. why life had to be so unfair..

Upset, he rested the back of his head against the chair and felt utterly lonely.. he yearned for a hand of love to brush through his hair and take away his pain.. he was tired.. mentally, physically.. emotionally…

_________________

When vihaan met Shehnaaz after the gap, he clung to her for like ages.. he even cried into her chest which put Shehnaaz into devastation. She hugged him to her dear life as tears rolled out of her eyes… These two days without him made her realise how much she needed this little angel to survive..

She couldn’t see him in tears. She cupped his face and wiped away his tears followed by millions of kisses.

Vihaan founda his place back into her neck as he mumbled sadly, “pata hai vihaan missed sanu maa this much..” mumbling so, he spread his arms as much as he could….

Tears formed in Shehnaaz’s eyes as his innocent love..only she could tell how much she craved for her baby like 2 days.. she was crying like a stupid and she had no idea when Sanju had gone last 2 days… Which worsened the matter..

“Sanu maa ne bhi vihaan ko bahot jyada miss Kiya.. aaj ke baad vihaan is not allowed to stay away from sanu maa…” She cribbed more like a baby which made vihaan giggle amidst tears..

She asked him everything.. if he cried last two days.. if he ate time to time.. if he got fever.. what did he do.. she knew there was puja at home..

When vihaan told her his daddy was upset.. her heart cracked.. his broken form at the hospital flashed in front of her eyes making her hisss…

She missed him too.. watching him play with vihaan..

Shehnaaz made vihaan understand to not cry in front of his daddy and as a grown up boy now.. he is supposed to take care of his daddy..

There little conversation was interrupted by a voice..

“Shehnaaz….”

Shehnaaz was snapped out and froze as she heard a elderly female voice and her arms around vihaan tightened in fears.

Conscious, she turned around towards the source of voice and was shocked to see Rita maa standing in front of her beside Raghav.

Vihaan looked at his dadi surprised, dadi know my sanu maa..?”

Almost scared, Shehnaaz held onto vihaan tightly as if she was scared of loosing vihaan.. they all hated her and they wouldn’t accept her meeting vihaan..

Her eyes filled up in fear as she hugged vihaan closer. Vihaan noticed her teary eyes and frowned sadly. He cupped her face with his little hands, “maa…”

Shehnaaz almost hissed as her teary eyes ataredvat her baby boy… This was the first time he called her maa instead of sanu maa.. he called her maa and her heart almost wanted to burst in happiness..

She smiled softly amidst tears and placed a deep peck on his forehead, “maa is okay..♥️”

Rita ji and Raghav were almost stunned with the little incident in front of their eyes. Rita ji looked at Raghav who nodded his head at her to proceed. Sighing, Rita ji smiled at vihaan, “vihaan, aap chachu ke sath jakar hum sabke liye icecreams le aao.. tab tak hum yaha wait karte hai…”

Vihaan’s eyes widened at the topic of icecream and he got down from Shehnaaz’s arms instantly who was rather reluctant to let him go..

Shehnaaz watched vihaan walk away with Raghav and looked at Rita ji silently.

Rita ji silently guided shehnaaz to walk towards to nearby sitting arrangement in the garden. Once sat, she rubbed her knees to relieve some pain which didn’t go unnoticed by shehnaaz, “aap ko aksar dard hota hai ghutano me..?”

Her question took Rita ji by surprise and she nodded her head a little with a hmm.. sighing, she finally spoke, “raghav ne mujhe sab kuch bataya hai… Sab kuch..”

Shehnaaz looked down as her fingers clasped together in fear and restlessness, “me janti hun me aap sab ki gunehgar hun… But please mujhe vihaan se alag mat kijiye.. me sirf uska khayal rakhna chahti hun… Please maa..”

The moment Shehnaaz uttered the word maa, she herself was surprised and so was Rita ji, “sach kahu.. mujhe nahi pata mujhe is waqt kaise react karna chahiye.. tumhari galati nahi thi.. par us hadase ne humara parivar Tut sa gaya… Me toh budhi hun.. par mera sidharth aur vihaan… Unki zindagi kaise bitegi.. is ek sawal ne mujhe uljhan me daal diya hai..”

Shehnaaz has no idea how to react.. they did understand it wasn’t her entire fault but that doesn’t lessen the consequences.. they are suffering and it’s unending..

“Me payal ko sidharth ji aur vihaan ki zindagi me vapas toh nahi la sakti.. but me bhi kabhi shadi nahi karungi kisise.. bus Etna hi hai mere hath me..” Shehnaaz spoke her heart out..

Rita ji sighed and couldn’t help but pat the head of this innocent girl in front of her, “par isse kya hoga… Kuch hasil nahi hoga…”

Shehnaaz looked down in shame, “isse mere andar ka guilt shayad thoda kam ho jaye…”

Rita ji shook her head and turned to face Shehnaaz completely, “ho sakta hai ke me is waqt selfish hi rahi hun… Par maa hun na.. mujhe fikr hai mere Sid aur vihaan ki…”

Shehnaaz failed to understand her but tears formed in her eyes again thinking she might forbid her from meeting vihaan, “pleaae, mujhe vihaan se dur mat kijiye maa…”

Wiping away her tears, Rita ji cupped her face with her wrinkled palm, “mere vihaan ka zindagi bhar khayal rakhogi…?”

“Ji…? I don’t understand… Aap..” Shehnaaz didn’t understand what Rita ji wanted to say…

Rita ji smiled softly amidst tears, “shadi karogi Sidharth se…?”