Chapter 21

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Sidharth’s voice cut through the air, his tone measured but unmistakably firm.

Shehnaaz felt her breath catch in her throat. She hadn’t expected this when she got into the car. Her heart sank as the guilt of lying to him tightened around her chest. She hated this feeling, this endless cycle of deception where one lie needed another to support it, and then another, spinning out into a never-ending loop that felt suffocating.

Clearing her throat, she tried to calm the storm of emotions brewing inside her. She couldn’t meet his gaze, her eyes darting around the car, looking at everything but him. “Woh… it never came up,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. She could hear the slight tremor in her own words, betraying her nervousness.

“Hmm,” Sidharth hummed, his response almost nonchalant, yet she knew better. She could feel his eyes flicker towards her, watching her every move, as if trying to read what she wasn’t saying.

His expression was calm, but his jaw was set tight, and she could sense the tension radiating from him.

Upon reaching their home, Sidharth parked the car and turned off the engine. He glanced over at Shehnaaz, who was sound asleep on his arm, Vihaan nestled against her. Despite his usually stern demeanor, he felt a slight hint of amusement at how deeply she slept, unbothered by the noisy horns or the bumps on the road. Vihaan was the same, sleeping peacefully against her chest. *Perfect match,* he thought, rolling his eyes slightly.

“Shehnaaz…” he called out softly, hoping to wake her without disturbing Vihaan. His voice was low, careful, almost gentle.

But Shehnaaz didn’t stir, her head resting against his shoulderSidharth tried again, his tone a bit louder, adding a reluctant shake to her shoulder, but still, she didn’t wake up. She seemed lost in a deep slumber, entirely oblivious to the world around her.

Uncertain about what to do next, his phone rang, and he quickly grabbed it, seeing his mother’s name flash on the screen.

The ringtone seemed to reach Shehnaaz’s ears as she stirred slightly, making a sleepy face, her face digging at his shoulder, as if seeking some comfort in her sleep. Without thinking, Sidharth shifted a little closer, trying to give her more space to rest comfortably. He wasn’t quite sure why he did it, especially since he wanted to wake her up, but something about the way she clung to him made him pause.

“Hello, Maa… Haan, bas car hi park kar raha tha…” he spoke quietly into the phone, keeping his voice low.

Rita ji sighed in relief on the other end. The rain had made her anxious. “Sid, tum log jaldi andar aa jao… rasmein baki hain beta,” she urged.

Sidharth groaned, his irritation clear, “Maa, it’s enough now.. I’ve had enough for today,” he muttered, frustration seeping into his words.

Rita ji sighed again, sensing his mood. “But Sid, sun toh meri baat…”

Sidharth’s patience was running thin. He exhaled deeply and said, “Maa, please… mujhse ab aur nahi hoga…” His voice was firmer this time, a touch of exhaustion making it sound harsher than he intended.

The sudden sternness in his tone jolted Shehnaaz awake. Her eyes blinked open, still a bit disoriented as she tried to understand where she was. Realizing she was still in the car, her grip around Vihaan instinctively tightened, protective as always. She turned her gaze towards Sidharth, who was looking back at her, his expression unreadable.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, neither knowing what to say.  Sidharth’s eyes softened slightly as he saw the confusion and slight fear in her eyes along with her face that looked like a baby who had just woken up. He quickly averted his gaze, swallowing hard, trying to compose himself.

Shehnaaz, still a little dazed, whispered, “Hum… yahan kab pohnch gaye?” Her voice was soft, uncertain.

“Just now,” Sidharth replied, his tone calmer than before. He could see the worry in her eyes, and for a second, he almost wanted to reach out and reassure her. But he stopped himself, his hands gripping around the phone tighter, as if it could anchor him from the swirling emotions within.

Shehnaaz carefully opened the car door, adjusting Vihaan in her arms, trying to manage the weight of her lehenga while getting out. Before she could fully step out, Sidharth swiftly moved out of his side and came around to hers. His sudden presence so close made her heart skip a beat. She looked at him, uncertain, as he bent down to her level, his intense gaze locking onto hers with a focus that made her feel exposed.

“You’ve been carrying Vihaan all this time… let me take him,” he murmured, his tone a mix of authority and concern. He reached for the sleeping child, and in the process, the back of his hand brushed against hers, sending an electric shock through both of them.

They both hissed at the unexpected contact, a sharp intake of breath as if the simple touch burned.

Shehnaaz held her breath, trying to steady her racing heart, the tension between them thick and palpable. Sidharth, too, was acutely aware of the closeness, his senses heightened by the brief contact.

Gently, he adjusted Vihaan properly in his arms, his movements careful and precise. Shehnaaz slowly stepped out of the car, her heavy lehenga rustling softly as it touched the ground. For a brief second, their eyes met, a fleeting moment filled with an unspoken question, but then Sidharth looked away, his expression hardening.

“We both got into this for Vihaan’s sake,” he began, his voice firm, almost cold.

Shehnaaz braced herself for his words, knowing they were going to hurt her, as they always did. She could feel the sting even before he continued.

“Our personal lives remain separate,” Sidharth stated, the finality in his voice unmistakable. “I’ll try to convince Maa to give you a separate room, so we don’t have to deal with this… mess daily. We lead separate lives, and I won’t tolerate you meddling in my space. At the same time, I’ll respect yours… there doesn’t seem to be any other way to deal with this.”

Shehnaaz could only nod, her heart feeling unbearably heavy. Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she fought them back, refusing to let them fall, knowing that if she spoke, her voice would break and reveal her shattered emotions. She felt a dull ache spreading in her chest, the pain of his words settling deep within.

Sidharth sighed, sensing he had hurt her yet again. His jaw clenched as he forced himself to say the words that would cut the deepest. “Don’t get any hopes up when it comes to you and me… there is no ‘us,’ and there never will be.”

Shehnaaz nodded once more, her face pale, the earlier glow from the day completely gone. She felt his words pierce through her, leaving her hollow. Sidharth, for reasons he couldn’t comprehend, felt a strange discomfort seeing her like this, her vibrancy dimmed, her spirit seemingly crushed.

Feeling restless, he cleared his throat, turning away from her. “Let’s go,” he muttered, starting toward the door, carrying Vihaan with practiced ease. Shehnaaz quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, not wanting him to see the depth of her pain, and followed him silently, her steps slow and hesitant, as if each one was a reminder of the distance between them.

As Sidharth and Shehnaaz walked into the room, all eyes were on them, a mix of curiosity and anticipation hanging in the air. Sidharth, noticing Vihaan’s sleepy state, signaled to his mother before silently making his way upstairs to put the baby to sleep. Shehnaaz, feeling the weight of everyone’s gaze, quietly joined the others, her face betraying the turmoil inside her.

Rita ji immediately noticed the sadness clouding Shehnaaz’s features and gestured for Varsha to go upstairs. “vihaan ke paas rukna.. aur sidharth bhaiyya se kehna maa ne bulaya hai.” she instructed, sending the helper on the errand.

As Varsha left, Rita ji gently cupped Shehnaaz’s face with concern. “kya huva sana? Sidharth ne kuch kaha tujhse.?” she asked softly.

Anu and Tayiji exchanged worried looks, while Shikhar frowned. He had seen Shehnaaz’s happiness all day, but now there was only gloom. Why did Sidharth always seem intent on ruining things? Why couldn’t he give her a chance?

Shehnaaz quickly shook her head, too fervently to seem convincing. “Nahi, Maa, please, aisa kuch nahi hai… Thoda emotional feel ho raha hai… bas aur kuch nahi…” She tried to sound casual, but her voice wavered, betraying her true feelings.

Rita ji could see through the lie, but there was a warmth in her heart at Shehnaaz’s attempt to shield Sidharth. Gently, she patted Shehnaaz’s cheek. “aaj jo sidharth mene dekha hai na.. trust me beta.. sab kuch thik ho jayega..”

Shehnaaz looked down, realizing that Rita ji had seen right through her facade. She nodded, though it was a nod of hopelessness rather than agreement.

Just then, Sidharth came down the stairs, freshly changed into casuals. His presence drew everyone’s attention, especially Shehnaaz’s. Her heart began to pound as she took in his appearance. Even in something as simple as a T-shirt and jeans, he looked effortlessly handsome, every muscle perfectly defined. He looked almost like a Greek god.

“Maa, please, we talked about this,” Sidharth began, his tone edged with frustration.

Rita ji, unwilling to back down, turned to Anu, “Ja, ja, woh parat leke aa..

Sidharth closed his eyes, trying to keep his temper in check. Shehnaaz flinched slightly, sensing his irritation. The fear in her eyes made Sidharth pause. Normally, he took a certain satisfaction in his intimidating aura, but seeing her flinch felt different… uncomfortable. He didn’t like it, not with her. Not at all.

Anu quickly brought over the parat filled with milk and various ceremonial items, placing it carefully on the floor. “Dono beth jao jaldi se,” she said with excitement, dropping two rings into the milk and shaking it with a playful grin.

Shikhar, amused by Anu’s childlike enthusiasm, couldn’t help but chuckle. He adored her spontaneous nature and found himself wanting to kiss her right then.

Reluctantly, Sidharth sat down, knowing there was no escaping his mother’s plans. Shehnaaz followed suit, her movements quick and obedient, her mind racing with nerves.

Anu took their right hands and placed them in the bowl of milk. Sidharth seemed uninterested, his expression distant, while Shehnaaz silently prayed for the ceremony to end before Sidharth’s temper flared.

Their fingers brushed against each other several times during the search for the rings. Surprisingly, Sidharth managed to find the ring all three times, a small victory that he hadn’t expected. Was Shehnaaz doing this deliberately, letting him win? He couldn’t be sure, but Shehnaaz looked happy with the outcome.

Rita ji playfully scolded, “beta, tum ise dadagiri karne dogi toh yeh karta rahega..”

Anu, Shikhar, and Tayiji laughed, while Sidharth rolled his eyes at his mother, “Maa…”

Rita ji, seeing his irritated face, chuckled. “chal ring pehna de ab jaldi se…”

At her words, Sidharth glanced at Shehnaaz, who was nervously staring at her own fingers, avoiding his gaze. His own eyes seemed to seek hers, craving just a glance from her.

Without realizing it, he leaned forward and took her hand in his, his action not only surprising Shehnaaz but everyone present. Shehnaaz’s eyes widened at his unexpected gesture, her heart fluttering with confusion and a hint of hope.