Chapter 32

As Anu turned to leave, Shehnaaz’s voice trembled slightly as she asked, “Anu, tune Sidharth ko dekha subah?”

There was a flicker of surprise on Anu’s face as she turned back towards her. “Bhai toh Ahmedabad chale gaye. Unhone bataya nahi tumhe?”

Shehnaaz froze, her heart skipping a beat. The shock hit her hard, numbing her senses as she tried to make sense of Anu’s words. Sidharth had left without saying a single word to her. The man who always insisted that she keep him informed about her whereabouts. A sharp pain gripped her chest as the realization sunk in deeper.

Ahmedabad? Without even saying goodbye?

For the past few days, she had seen a change in him. His voice had softened, his words had felt more meaningful, as if a wall between them had finally started to crumble. Each night when he held her close, it felt like those moments would last forever, like she had finally found a small space in his heart. Those nights had been the happiest of her life. She could still feel the warmth of his embrace, the security in his arms, the way her world seemed to stop when he was near.

But last night… he hadn’t hugged her to sleep.

The absence of that simple gesture now gnawed at her, cutting through the fragile hope she had begun to build. Was he upset? Had he noticed the way her gaze lingered on him, the way she couldn’t help but admire every detail of him? Maybe he had caught on, maybe he thought she was crossing a line.

Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. Her heart felt heavy, sinking with the thought that perhaps he had realized something she feared deep down.

Shayad unhe ye samajh aa gaya hai ke main unke kabil nahi…

Her mind raced, spiraling into a pit of doubt and self-blame. Had it all been too good to be true? The tender moments they had shared over the last couple of days now seemed like fleeting dreams, fragile and temporary.

Bas do din ki khushiyaan thi…

She blinked back the tears, desperately trying to maintain her composure, but her throat felt tight with the effort to hold back the sobs threatening to escape. It hurt more than she expected. She hadn’t realized how much she had begun to rely on those small signs of affection from him, how much they meant to her. Now, the silence felt unbearable.

Anu, sensing the sudden shift in Shehnaaz’s mood, felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t meant to upset her. 

“Bhai bhul gaye honge, Sana,” Anu quickly tried to comfort her, though she could see the distress already etched on Shehnaaz’s face. “Unhone jaate waqt bola tha mujhe subah tumhe batane ke liye. He didn’t want to disturb your sleep…”

But Anu’s words felt hollow to Shehnaaz. No matter how gently Anu tried to soften the blow, the damage had already been done. It wasn’t just about him leaving—it was the way he left, without a word. The vulnerability that had crept into her heart over the last few days now seemed exposed, raw, and unprotected.

Shehnaaz nodded mechanically, not trusting herself to speak. Her chest tightened with the weight of her emotions, and she knew if she stayed a moment longer, she would break down completely.

“I’ll check on Vihaan…” she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. She needed to escape, to find a place where she could breathe, where she could let the tears fall without anyone seeing. Without waiting for Anu’s response, she hurried out of the room, her heart sinking with each step.

Anu stood frozen, guilt settling deep in her gut. She hadn’t meant for this to happen, but now she was left watching helplessly as Shehnaaz walked away, her shoulders heavy with sadness.

___________

Shehnaaz walked into the bedroom, her mind clouded by sorrow. Each step felt heavier than the last, her heart weighed down by the thoughts of Sidharth leaving without a word. The ache inside her grew with every passing moment, but when her eyes fell on Vihaan, still peacefully asleep, her pain softened slightly.

His small face, innocent and serene, was a mirror image of his father’s. Every time she looked at him, she couldn’t help but see Sidharth—the same sharp features, the same expressions that makes her heart flutter. A sad smile tugged at her lips as she gently ran her fingers through Vihaan’s hair, soothing him with the same tenderness she longed for herself.

“Vihaan, come on, get up… you’re going to be late for school,” she whispered softly, her voice still thick with unspoken sadness.

Vihaan stirred, slowly opening his sleepy eyes. Rubbing them, he looked up at his mother with a frown. “Maa… mujhe sona hai,” he mumbled, burying his face deeper into the pillow.

For a brief moment, Shehnaaz’s worries faded as a small chuckle escaped her lips. She shook her head, gently nudging him. “You’ll be late for school then,” she teased.

Vihaan groaned dramatically, his little face scrunching up in frustration. “No school today naa, please…” he whined, trying to convince her with his best puppy-eyed expression.

Despite the weight in her heart, Shehnaaz couldn’t help but grin at his antics. She pulled him up to a sitting position and kissed his soft cheek. “How about this,” she began, her tone playful, “you go to school today, and when you come back, we’ll leave for Sanju’s house. We’ll have a super rocking weekend! And guess what? No school tomorrow!”

Vihaan’s eyes lit up instantly. The frown disappeared, replaced by a huge grin that stretched across his face. “No school tomorrow? Yeyyyy!” he shouted in excitement, suddenly wide awake. The promise of fun filled him with energy, and he jumped out of bed, bouncing with enthusiasm.

“Maa, kitna maza ayega na! We can go to the waterpark tomorrow, please maa!” he begged, a new idea forming in his mind as his excitement grew.

Shehnaaz’s heart swelled at his joy. For that moment, she pushed aside her own pain, focusing on the bright spark in her son’s eyes. She cupped his small face in her hands, her smile soft and full of love. “As you say, baby. But first, let’s get you ready for school. We can’t miss school today,” she said gently.

Vihaan, now completely on board with the plan, grabbed her hand and began pulling her toward the bathroom, eager to get ready as quickly as possible. His little feet danced across the floor, his laughter filling the room with warmth.

Shehnaaz followed, letting herself be swept up in his excitement, if only for a while. Watching him, she felt a strange mix of emotions—joy for him, but sadness in her heart that she couldn’t shake. In Vihaan’s smile, she found comfort, a brief escape from her own turmoil. He was her light, her reason to keep going, even when everything else felt uncertain.

_____________

Once Vihaan was off to school, the silence felt heavier than usual. Shehnaaz stood in the walk-in wardrobe, mechanically pulling out a few clothes and necessary items for the weekend at Sanju’s house. But her mind wasn’t with her task. Her fingers absentmindedly brushed against one of Sidharth’s suits hanging in the wardrobe. She paused, her hand lingering on the fabric as she lifted it closer to her face.

The familiar scent of his cologne still clung to the shirt. That unique scent.. that she loved so much.. Her chest tightened, and without warning, tears filled her eyes again. She missed him so much, more than she had expected, and the ache in her heart only seemed to grow deeper with every second that passed.

Shehnaaz sank into her thoughts, her heart breaking all over again as she remembered last night. He hadn’t hugged her to sleep.

Her mind wandered back to how she used to feel when he held her close. Last few nights when he would pull her into his arms, it felt like she was where she was meant to be—safe, loved. But now, that warmth was gone, replaced by a cold emptiness that seemed to seep into her very soul. What was I even thinking? she thought bitterly. That Sidharth would hug me to sleep every night?

Her tears spilled freely now as her heart whispered the painful truth she had been avoiding. He hates me… He must hate me for messing up his life, for pushing him into a marriage he never wanted. She tried to reason with herself, tried to convince herself that he had only been sleeping next to her for Vihaan’s sake. But now… now it seemed like he had finally realized his mistake. He couldn’t even bring himself to do that  anymore.

The disappointment was sharp, almost suffocating. Wiping her tears hastily, she thought of his words.. Pehle khud kehte the… I must update you before going anywhere… aur ab? Bhale hi mujhse dur rehna chahte ho aap, par ek baar bol nahi sakte the ke main ja raha hoon? Kuch bhi nahi kaha… aur bas chale gaye.

She gazed at the suit in her hands, her eyes blurred with fresh tears. Mujhe toh yeh bhi nahi pata ke aap kitne din ke liye gaye ho… Aap kab vapas aaoge? Her heart ached with the questions she couldn’t ask him. Mujhe aapki adat si gayi hai… Aap kabhi nahi samajh payenge… Aapke bina jeena mushkil lagne laga hai… Aap please mujhe aise khud se dur mat kijiye…

Her legs gave out beneath her, and she sank onto the nearby sofa, her gaze fixed on the half-filled suitcase in front of her. Apki kadvi batein… apka gussa… main seh loongi… par yeh doori mujhse nahi sahi jaayegi ab. Please, vapas aa jayiye… she whispered to herself, her voice trembling as she begged in silence for him to return.

Shehnaaz knew she had to leave. Sanju needed her. Sanju had been more than a friend—she had been a pillar of support during Shehnaaz’s darkest days, the one person who stood by her when the world seemed to fall apart. And now, when Sanju needed her, Shehnaaz couldn’t back away. But even the thought of leaving the house without informing Sidharth, felt unbearable.

The room felt lifeless without him, as if all the warmth had been drained from it. Her feet carried her towards his side of the bed, as if by instinct. She lay down, her body curling into the space he usually occupies, and pulled his pillow close to her chest. Hugging it tightly, she tried to imagine it was him, tried to remember the feel of his arms around her, the sound of his breathing as they drifted off to sleep. But it wasn’t the same. It would never be the same.

More tears came, this time soaking into the pillow as she clung to it. Main kaise jaoon aapko bataye bina..? Par aapko call bhi kaise karoon..? jabke main jaanti hoon ke aap meri wajah se gaye hain… mujhse dur rehna chahte hain aap… The thought of calling him, of hearing his voice, made her stomach churn with both fear and longing.

Par main toh aapke paas rehna chahti hoon na…

Her inner voice cracked under the weight of her need for him. She couldn’t bear it anymore. The dam inside her broke, and she dissolved into quiet sobs, hugging his pillow as tightly as she could, as though it were the only thing keeping her together. She wished—more than anything—that he would come back, that he would hold her again, that things would be fine some day.

But for now, all she had was the silence, the emptiness, and the memories..

______________

Anu stormed into Shikhar’s office, her frustration barely contained as she slammed the cabin door shut. Her breath was heavy, and her eyes were blazing with anger.

Shikhar, caught off guard by her sudden entrance, stood up immediately, his face a mixture of surprise and concern. “Anu, what are you doing here?”

She glared at him, her voice sharp. “What am I doing here? How about you tell me why you’ve been avoiding my calls?”

Shikhar sighed, already feeling the tension rising. “I’m not avoiding your calls, Anu,” he said in a clipped tone. “And please, lower your voice. We’re in the office.”

Anu froze, her heart dropping at his response. His tone was colder than she had ever heard. Shocked by his words, she walked over to his desk, her face filled with disbelief. “Fine, then tell me what’s happening,” she demanded, her voice quieter but filled with hurt.

Shikhar avoided her gaze, his fingers drumming on the desk. “Nothing is happening, Anu… I’ve just been a bit busy, that’s all.”

A pit of fear formed in her stomach. Something was wrong. Was she wrong about his feelings all along? Was he playing her? Her voice wavered slightly as she pressed him, “Is it because of Bhai? Is that why you’re avoiding me all of a sudden? So you don’t have to answer him? Or so you don’t have to commit if he asks us to get married?”

Her words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, Shikhar didn’t speak. The silence crushed her, the uncertainty unbearable. Was this the same man who once couldn’t bear to be apart from her?

Shikhar groaned in frustration and moved towards her, his hands reaching out to cup her face. But Anu stepped back, her heart aching as she whispered, “Don’t touch me.”

Shikhar stopped in his tracks, his hands dropping to his sides. He looked at her, confused and helpless. “Anu, I just… I just need some time baby. Marriage is a big decision.”

Anu’s heart shattered. This was it. She had been right all along. “So, I was right…” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. “Where do we stand now?”

Shikhar ran his hands through his hair, exasperated. He wanted to hold her, to calm her down. He needed her, but she was pulling away. “I love you, Anu. You know that. But you also know what Sidharth is going to say… Marriage is a big step, and I just need some time to think.”

“Okay…” That was all she could say. Her voice was hollow, and she hated herself for sounding so weak in front of him. She wiped her tears, angry that she was breaking down, hating that she was falling apart in front of him.

Seeing her tears, Shikhar felt his heart twist painfully. He stepped forward, trying to close the distance between them, needing to hold her, to make her understand. “Anu, come on… don’t cry. Let me explain.”

But again, she moved back, her cold eyes piercing through him. “Why are you doing this, Anu?” he asked, desperation creeping into his voice. “Please, come here…”

Her tears fell silently as she looked at him, her heart heavy. “Time…” she repeated bitterly, the word tasting like poison. “Let’s take some time, then.” With that, she turned towards the door, her hand reaching for the handle.

Panic surged through Shikhar. He grabbed her hand before she could open the door and pulled her back, slamming her gently against the door, holding her tightly. His eyes were wide with fear, “What do you mean? You’re not leaving me.”

Her usual warmth was gone as she looked up at him with distant eyes. “Leave me, Shikhar…”

“No… no, and no!” His voice cracked with desperation. He held her tighter, his breath coming out in uneven bursts. “Don’t do this, Anu. I can’t live without you. Please, try to understand.” His lips crashed against hers in a desperate attempt to bring her back, to make her feel what he felt. He needed her warmth, her love.

For a brief moment, she weakened, her body responding to the kiss. But then, the hurt, the betrayal, came rushing back. She broke away, tears streaming down her face as she removed his hands from her body. “I need time and space now, Shikhar. Let me go.”

“And I said no,” he growled, pulling her back into his arms. But this time, she pushed him away, more forcefully than before. She unlocked the door and left the cabin without another word, leaving him standing there, panicked and heartbroken.

Shikhar’s world tilted. He hated the implication of her words, hated that he had hurt her. God, he loved her more than anything, and yet, he had let his fear drive her away. His chest tightened painfully as he realized just how wrong he had been to avoid her, to let this rift grow between them.

He rushed after her, dread pooling in his gut. He couldn’t let her walk out of his life. 

Never..

______________

Sidharth checked into his suite, feeling the weight of exhaustion bearing down on him. After a quick shower, he changed into a simple t-shirt and shorts, but the fatigue that gripped him wasn’t just physical—it ran much deeper. Resting on the bed, his mind drifted, unable to shake off the gnawing restlessness that had settled inside him since morning.

This morning, he had woken up much earlier than usual. The first thing he saw was Vihaan and Shehnaaz sleeping beside him, both curled into him as if drawn by instinct. Shehnaaz’s hand had unconsciously found its way to his t-shirt, clutching it gently in her sleep. He had looked at her for a long moment, feeling an unfamiliar softness take over him.

In a moment of weakness, he had pulled both of them closer, his arms tightening protectively around Shehnaaz. The warmth of her skin, the familiar scent of her, and the way her presence comforted him—it all tugged at his heart. He missed her, even though she was right there. His fingers had lightly traced the curve of her cheek, noticing the faint streak of dried tears. A pang of guilt shot through him, making him feel even more conflicted. What was happening to him?

But before those feelings could take a stronger hold, he had quickly moved away, breaking the connection. He couldn’t let this continue. He had made a decision to stay distant, to protect himself, to not let things get too complicated between them.

And yet, as he got ready to leave, a deep unease filled him. It was as if something inside him screamed against leaving them behind—against leaving *her* behind. For a moment, panic had gripped him, making him feel like walking out that door meant losing her forever.

He had kissed Vihaan’s forehead softly, and despite everything, he couldn’t stop himself from placing a gentle kiss on Shehnaaz’s forehead too. His heart tugged painfully as he left, almost reluctantly, every step out the door feeling heavier than the last.

On the way to the airport, guilt gnawed at him. He hadn’t even told her about his sudden trip to Ahmedabad. He was the one who had insisted that she inform him before going anywhere, yet here he was, leaving without a word. The irony of his own behavior stung him, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from being cold towards her.

The entire flight to Ahmedabad was unbearable. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, not for a single moment. Was she thinking about him? Did she miss him? Did she notice he was gone? Was she crying? Hugging his pillow..

His thoughts raced, tormenting him with endless questions. The guilt sat like a heavy stone in his chest. He hadn’t eaten much; nothing felt right. Something was off inside him, a constant ache that he couldn’t soothe. He tossed and turned in bed, the emptiness beside him only amplifying the void he felt without Vihaan. Without her.

From the moment he had left home that morning, he had missed her. It was unbearable. Every second without her felt wrong. He hated this business trip. He hated the meetings that had brought him here. He hated being away from the two people who had somehow become the center of his life, despite all his efforts to keep her at arm’s length.

He had considered calling her. His phone was right there, her number saved under the name “Naaz.” But every time he thought about it, something held him back. Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was fear. He wasn’t sure. What hurt even more was that she hadn’t called him either. Was she upset? Did she not care?

There were two meetings lined up—one this evening and another the following morning. Initially, he had planned to stay a few extra days in Ahmedabad, but now, the very thought of staying longer made him restless. He couldn’t. He *wouldn’t*. He had to go back. Back to his son. Back to his wife.

He imagined her waiting for him, hoping she was, at least. He knew she had to be. Or maybe that was just his heart hoping against all logic.

“Tumne mujhe badal diya hai, Naaz…” he whispered to himself, the truth of those words sinking deep into his soul.

Lost in her thoughts, he didn’t even realize when sleep finally claimed him, though the restlessness remained, tucked away in the corners of his mind, waiting for him to wake up and feel it all over again.

____________

The next day, Shehnaaz had packed both her and Vihaan’s bags, her mind a mix of excitement and quiet anticipation. She wanted this weekend away to be relaxing for both of them, especially for Vihaan.

When Vihaan returned home from school, his face lit up with excitement. He rushed upstairs to drop off his school bag, only to find Shehnaaz sitting on the bed, busy on her laptop.

The moment she saw him, Shehnaaz’s face softened into a warm smile. She gently placed the laptop aside and opened her arms wide. Without hesitation, Vihaan darted toward her, and she enveloped him in a loving embrace. His little arms clung to her tightly, his enthusiasm contagious.

“Jaldi jaake fresh ho jao, beta. We’re going to Sanju’s place for lunch today,” she said, her tone playful. “She’s made your favorite pasta.”

Vihaan’s eyes widened in excitement. “Sachhii maa… Yeppyyy!” he shouted, bouncing with joy as he ran off toward the bathroom. Shehnaaz chuckled softly, watching her son’s energy with a fond smile.

As they were making their way downstairs, Vihaan eagerly bouncing down a few steps ahead of her, Shehnaaz caught sight of Anu standing near the hallway, looking upset. Her normally cheerful face was clouded with emotions, and Shehnaaz’s heart sank a little.

“Vihaan, tum dadi maa aur tayiji ko jaake bye bolo. Main abhi aayi,” she instructed, but before she could finish, Vihaan had already disappeared, racing to say his goodbyes. She shook her head, smiling at his boundless energy, and then headed towards Anu’s room, concern growing in her heart.

“Anu…” Shehnaaz called softly as she entered, her eyes filled with worry.

Anu was startled by her voice, and she quickly wiped away the tears that had been silently falling. “Haan, bhabhi?” she responded, her voice shaky, trying to mask her sadness.

Shehnaaz walked closer, her brows furrowed with concern. “Kya hua, Anu? Tum thik ho na? Tum to rahi ho na?” She sensed something was wrong, and it worried her deeply.

Anu turned her face away, avoiding eye contact. “Nahi bhabhi, tumhe aisa kyun lag raha hai? Kya hoga mujhe?” she replied, trying to sound indifferent, but her voice betrayed the storm brewing inside her.

Before Shehnaaz could press further, Anu’s phone rang, cutting through the tense silence. Both women glanced at the phone. Nervously, Anu disconnected the call, only for it to ring again. With frustration mounting, she disconnected it once more, but it kept ringing persistently.

Finally, with a sigh of exasperation, Anu switched off the phone, her hands trembling. Shehnaaz watched her, saying nothing, but her silence spoke volumes. Anu could feel Shehnaaz’s concerned gaze, knowing she could no longer hide her turmoil.

Without another word, Anu threw herself into Shehnaaz’s arms, her sobs breaking free. The tears she had been holding back spilled over as she clung to her bhabhi for comfort, pouring out all the hurt she had been carrying. Between sobs, Anu confided in Shehnaaz, telling her everything about the rift between her and Shikhar.

Shehnaaz listened patiently, her heart aching for her sister-in-law. Once Anu had let it all out, Shehnaaz gently cupped her face, wiping away her tears with tender fingers. “Sidharth ke sudden interference se bhale hi Shikhar bokhala gaya ho, lekin uski feelings tumhare liye sachchi hai, Anu. You can’t deny that.” Her voice was soft but firm, as if willing Anu to see the truth.

Anu’s eyes were still wet, but she looked up at Shehnaaz, unsure and vulnerable.

“Shaadi bahot bada decision hai, Anu,” Shehnaaz continued, her tone compassionate. “Kisi ke liye yeh decision lena easy hota hai, toh kisi ke liye difficult. Shikhar tumse rishta tod nahi raha. He loves you. Shayad filhal, he just wants to enjoy this phase of life with you as a lover rather than rushing into marriage. Aur ismein kuch galat nahi hai.”

Anu blinked, her mind processing Shehnaaz’s words. She hadn’t considered things from Shikhar’s perspective before. Her tears slowed as she began to see the situation differently.

Shehnaaz smiled, sensing the change in Anu’s demeanor. “Haan, usne tujhe avoid kiya, toh woh galat hai. Is baat par tera ruthna banta hai. Thoda sata use, thoda manane de tujhe. Lekin yaad rakh, woh tujhse bahut pyaar karta hai, Anu.”

A faint smile appeared on Anu’s tear-streaked face. She nodded slowly, wiping away the last of her tears. “Thank you, bhabhi. Mera toh dil hi tut gaya tha…”

Shehnaaz laughed softly, her heart lighter now that Anu was feeling better. “Achha, ek idea hai. Main aur Vihaan Sanju ke ghar ja rahe hain for the weekend. Agar aana hai, toh tere paas 10 minutes hain. Fatafat bag pack kar aur neeche aa, main wait kar rahi hoon. Bahot maza karenge.”

The idea immediately brightened Anu’s spirits, and she eagerly agreed. Shehnaaz left the room with a smile, knowing that sometimes, all someone needed was a little support and a reminder that they weren’t alone.

As she made her way back to the living room, Shehnaaz’s heart felt a little lighter. Sometimes, being there for someone else was all it took to heal a bit of your own wounds.

_____________

Sidharth let out a sigh of relief as the meeting came to a close. He had hated every moment since he stepped into that conference room, feeling more like a ghost than a participant.

Last night had been a disaster, filled with restless tossing and turning. No matter how hard he tried to focus on work, his mind was never at ease. It was as if he had forgotten to bring his heart with him, leaving it behind with Shehnaaz and Vihaan.

As soon as the final remarks were made, he didn’t waste a second. He rushed straight to the airport, driven by an urgency he couldn’t quite explain. He had to get home as quickly as possible; he needed to see her, to feel the warmth of her presence before this restlessness consumed him completely.

Once on the plane, he fastened his seatbelt and settled into his seat. The flight was about to take off, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He gazed out the window, watching the runway lights blur into streaks as the plane began its ascent.

Deep inside, a quiet promise echoed in his heart:

I’m coming back…

His heart raced with anticipation. The thought of seeing her again filled him with a mix of excitement and anxiety. He leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes for a brief moment, allowing himself to imagine her smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy, and the warmth of her embrace.