Chapter 6

Sidharth approached the back of the house, his heart pounding with fear and anticipation. He noticed the balcony door of one bedroom was open, and he hoped it was Shehnaaz’s room. The risk of being caught didn’t bother him; his only focus was reaching her. He somehow managed to get onto the balcony, the room inside shrouded in darkness.

Taking a few hesitant steps, he reached the balcony door that led to the bedroom. He stood frozen as the sight before him made him want to puke. Soft lights cast eerie shadows, giving the room an almost haunted look. Despite the darkness, he could sense her presence; the familiar scent of her cologne mingled with the smell of broken glass, shattered vases, and the faint, heart-wrenching scent of her tears.

His heart broke at the sight of her lying carelessly on the edge of the bed. Broken glass pieces glittered on the floor, reflecting the dim light. He was horrified to see the room filled with glass shards, broken vases, and thorny rose stems. His mind raced with worry: How had she reached the bed without hurting herself? But then, he realized she must be hurt.

Sidharth’s heart contracted in fear. She lay lifelessly on the bed, her head hanging off the edge. The bag he had been carrying slipped from his grasp, scattering gifts across the floor, adding to the mess. For the first time, he felt completely helpless, unsure of how to ease the pain slicing through his heart.

Clearing his throat, he took a few more steps into the room. He noticed a dupatta on the table, picked it up, and began gathering the shattered glass and debris, moving it all to a corner far from her bed and the main door to ensure she wouldn’t get hurt. Sharp edges cut into his fingers and feet, but he didn’t care; it felt like a deserved punishment for causing her pain.

Once the mess was cleared, he slowly approached the bed, his steps faltering as he saw her wrapped in a light blue satin cloth that shimmered in the dim light. He couldn’t see her face clearly due to the darkness and her disheveled hair. She looked breathtaking, yet so broken.

He felt a deep, overwhelming guilt. He was the reason for her pain. But he had no right to lament; he belonged to her now, and she could do with him as she wished. The state of the room gave him a glimpse of the agony she had endured.

As he sat beside her, he gently brushed her hair away from her face. Her eyes were open, but she didn’t react, didn’t flinch, didn’t even blink. His touch, which once made her restless, now had no effect. The thought scared him—had she given up on him? Tears welled in his eyes as he switched on a light to see her better. He carefully lifted her head and placed it properly on the bed, scanning her for any injuries.

His heart sank when he saw the dressings on her hands, the nail marks, and the cuts. “Jaan… kya kiya tumne,” he groaned, cupping her face to gain her attention, but she remained lost. “Mera bachha… baat karo na mujhse,” he pleaded, resting his forehead against hers as tears streamed down his face.

He rushed to the bathroom, found a first aid kit, and returned to clean her wounds. He expected her to flinch but she stayed silent, her behavior scaring him even more. He almost begged for his old Shehnaaz back. He kissed each wound tenderly, his tears mingling with the antiseptic, whispering, “Promise me you won’t hurt yourself again.” His voice cracked with emotions, “never ever… please mera bachhaa..”

She didn’t respond, and he knew she was angry. He realized the depth of his feelings for her—her pain was unbearable for him. She owned his heart, body, and soul, and he vowed never to let her get hurt again.

As he dressed her wounds, he felt her heart beating again, knowing he was near. He picked her up in his arms, feeling her sudden hitch of breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He sat against the bedpost, holding her close, scared to let go. She rested her head on his chest, exhausted from the mental trauma.

Despite her anger, she didn’t protest his touch. Her love was pure and unconditional, and he felt like a fool for doubting her. He held her close, letting her hear his heartbeat, rubbing her back lovingly. She snuggled closer, cocooning herself in his warmth.

Turning to one side, he laid her softly on the bed, resting his head on her chest to soothe away his fears. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, protecting him from his demons. He broke down in her embrace, feeling her gentle kisses on his forehead and hair. She was so pure, so forgiving, expecting nothing in return.

“Aise koi karta hai kya… haan jaan,” he chided softly, wanting to scold her but melting in her presence. He raised her face, craving her gaze, and she smiled softly, kissing his eyes. There was no surprise in her eyes; it felt like she had known his face forever.

He kissed her lips repeatedly, planting small pecks until her lips formed a beautiful smile. She was his love, his life. He kissed her forehead, feeling her arms tighten around his neck, healing each other.

Sidharth realized she must not have eaten since morning. He chuckled, seeing her bury her face further in his chest, worried for her well-being. He reached for a glass of something at the edge of the table, pulling her up gently until she was almost sitting.

Sidharth watched Shehnaaz in amusement, captivated by her adorable antics as she gulped down the entire glass of choco shake. By the time she finished, the leftover was smeared all over her lips and cupid’s bow, driving him crazy with her cuteness.

He gently placed the glass back on the table and tenderly wiped the remnants from her lips with his thumb, feeling her soft, tender lips shudder at his touch.

Her eyes widened as she realized what she had done. She hadn’t even asked if he wanted any, or if he had eaten anything. Deep down, she somehow knew he hadn’t, because she hadn’t either.

“Aap ne bhi kuch nahi khaya na?” she asked softly, leaning her head against his chest as he pulled her closer and held her tenderly.

“Hmm,” he responded, his voice tinged with sadness and a lack of enthusiasm. The events of the day had left him mentally drained.

Shehnaaz hugged him tighter, pulling him closer as she began to cry softly in his embrace. “I trust you,” she whispered.

Those words pierced Sidharth’s heart with guilt, making him hug her even more tightly. He kissed her forehead and pulled her even closer. “I know, mera bachha. I am so sor—”

Her palm immediately covered his mouth, not letting him finish. Her eyes softly blinked at him. “Aap sorry mat kahiye.”

Outside, the rain had started to fall softly, mirroring the emotional downpour inside the room. It was a rain of love, purity, and newfound feelings. This was the first time they were so close, neither running away nor disappearing from each other. It signified the start of their forever.

Shehnaaz’s innocence astounded him. Despite the hurt he had caused, she didn’t want him to apologize. How could someone be so pure? He caressed her cheek and whispered near her ear, “Why did you hurt yourself, haan baby?”

Her beautiful eyes filled with tears again. He kissed them softly, not wanting her to cry anymore. She had already hurt herself more than he could ever bear. Each kiss conveyed the pain he felt. “Tumne khudko hurt karke mujhe bahot jyada hurt kiya hai. Tumpar ek kharoch bhi bardasht nahi kar sakta mein. Aur tumne..” His voice cracked as he shook her gently. “Kyu kiya mera bachha? Bolo?”

She had the right to smile, to laugh, to live, to dance in the rain, to eat chocolates, to do anything but hurt herself. She belonged to him, and he had forbidden her from that right.

She hugged him tightly, her guilt coursing through her veins. “Because I hurt you,” she whispered.

Oh, God. Is she mad? he wondered. He had hurt her so much, yet she hurt herself because she thought she had hurt him. How could she even think like that? She didn’t realize it was him who had hurt her. How could his princess be so delicate, so innocent? He could never let her out of his sight, even for a second.

“Tumhare bina main kaise jeeunga, haan baby? Ye nahi socha tumne. Kuch ho jata tumhe toh,” he chided softly, brushing his fingers through her hair.

Making a sad face, she touched her ears softly and didn’t look up. He chuckled at her cuteness. Pulling her fingers away from her ears, he kissed them softly and put them on his chest. “mera bachha…”

They remained in each other’s embrace. Shehnaaz was still in her blue satin dress, her body fitting perfectly in his embrace. Her eyes were closed, resting peacefully on his chest, while he stared at her endlessly. He knew she hadn’t seen him properly yet because of the dim light but had a little idea of how he looked.

“Baby, please kuch khalo jake?” he whispered again.

Shehnaaz slowly opened her eyes but refused to get up from his chest. A thunder burst increased the downpour outside, scaring her with the loud noise. She gripped his chest tightly, making him engulf her completely in his embrace. She was so small and delicate in his big body. His fingers rubbed her back. “Main hoon na jaan.. Kyu dar jati ho?”

Shehnaaz made a baby face and traced patterns on his chest. “Aap ko har chiz kaise pata chal jati hai?”

Sidharth smiled. “Jaise ki?”

Shehnaaz looked at him softly. “Jaise ki, maine khana khaya ya nahi?”

Suddenly, realization dawned upon her. Her eyes widened in shock. “Aap ko mera ghar kaise mila? Aap mere kamre mein kaise aaye?”

Sidharth rolled his eyes and closed her mouth as her chin had almost reached the bed in shock.

Shehnaaz sat up, touched his nose softly with her index finger, and giggled. “Mujhe apko dekhna hai.”

Finally, he thought, kissing her finger near his lips. “Pehle jake dinner karlo, fir dekh lena.”

Shehnaaz made a baby face and got up. As she moved, she held his hand. “Tumne ye socha ke tumhari family kaisi hogi tumhare bina? Ro ro ke sabki kya halat ho gayi hogi?”

Her face saddened as she realized how her behavior would have affected her family.

Sidharth sighed, watching her sad face, and cupped her cheek. “Kya hua, Naaz?”

Shehnaaz looked down. “Aap jaoge toh nahi na?”

Sidharth smiled. “Nahi jaunga, baba. Ek aur baat… tum bahar sabko promise karogi that you will never hurt yourself again.”

Shehnaaz nodded, making him smile at her.

Unable to control himself, he cried softly. “If you hurt yourself ever again, you will see my dead body. And that’s my promise.”

His threat shook her like a current.

“please aap aise..” she cried out and slammed her lips on his in frustration. Startled and surprised, his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to himself.

It wasn’t a kiss of love, but of fear and anger at his threat. It was their first kiss. He closed his eyes, letting her take out her anger on him. Her lips felt like the softest thing in the world. Damn, she was his.. Her messy attempts were proof it was the first kiss of her life. she kissed him senselessly, never letting him go. She gave up her breaths and cried into his mouth, “kabhi mat kehna..”

“jaan..” he groaned, moved by her love for him.. This was his moment for revenge. Her eyes closed tightly as he kissed her, taking her breath away.  It was a kiss marking each other as theirs. It was his promise to her that he was hers forever. It was her promise to him that she belonged to him.

Crazy it was. Mad it was. But it was their way of love. People called it insanity. They called it love.

He let go of her mouth, watching her gasp for breath, and rested his head against hers, breathing heavily.

Minutes passed, and Shehnaaz realized his breathing had steadied. He was asleep. She managed to extricate herself from his hug, kissed his forehead with a blush on her cheeks, and made her way out to get dinner.

When Shehnaaz came out, she saw her parents and Baaz sitting on the sofa. Their tense faces made her realize it was because of her. She ran to her mother and hugged her tightly, apologizing for her stupid behavior.

Surprised, Jasbeera ji hugged her back tightly while Rajender ji patted her head and checked for any injuries.

Baaz looked away with tears in his eyes. Shehnaaz went and hugged him tightly. “Sorry, veerji. I promise, main aisa dobara kabhi nahi karungi.”

Rajender ji took her in his embrace. “Meri bachhi, ye kya halat kar di hai? Agar kuch ho jata toh…”

Mahi woke up from the noise, having been asleep on her mother’s lap. She was so happy to have her di back and hugged her, complaining.

Shehnaaz looked at her mother. “Mumma, mujhe

plate banake do na.”

Jasbeera ji patted her cheek. “La, main tujhe khilati hoon.”

Shehnaaz’s eyes widened, and she softened them immediately. “Nahi, mumma. Main room mein kha lungi. Koi movie dekh lungi na, achha lagega.”

Baaz signaled his mother not to oppose her. Jasbeera ji sighed and made a plate for Shehnaaz.

Shehnaaz added more parathas, sabji, and rice, making Jasbeera ji look at her in confusion.

Shehnaaz giggled softly. “Aaj jyada bhook lagi hai.”

Taking the plate, she immediately ran to her room before she had to face any more questions.

She locked the door from inside and switched on the main light, brightening the room. As her eyes fell on Sidharth, her heart fluttered like a butterfly watching his strong physique. He was so toned, so tall. His muscles throbbed through his t-shirt.

He was looking the other way, hiding his face from her.

As she walked towards the bed, she kept the plate on the side table and sat beside him. She climbed onto the bed on her knees to move to his opposite side to see his face.

Her body froze in that awkward position. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. He was incredibly handsome, his features sharp and defined. Despite his strong build, there was an innocence to his face, almost like a sleeping child. He looked so calm, so serene, sleeping so peacefully.

Unable to control her racing heart, Shehnaaz moved closer to him, wanting a clearer view of his face. With a tender step, she got on the other side and lay down beside him, completely captivated by his features. As she watched him, the light in the room disturbed his eyes, causing him to groan slightly. In a swift motion, Sidharth’s arms went around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

Her breath hitched at his sudden move, their faces mere inches apart. The sight of his red lips made her blush, reminding her of the way she had kissed him earlier. This breathtaking man was hers forever, a thought that mercilessly tickled her entire being. She slowly leaned in and kissed his forehead, then his closed eyes one by one.

As she kissed him, a tender melody played in her mind, **”us rab ne jab dil diye.. dil ke do tukde kiye… dono pe ek naam likha.. ek Shehnaaz aur ek Sidharth likha…”**

Suddenly, his phone rang, breaking her trance and his sleep. She quickly silenced it before anyone outside could hear. He opened his eyes, “Kya hua, baby?”

She was still lost in his handsome face. “Aap ka phone baj raha tha.”

Getting up to a sitting position, he noticed she had brightened the room. Her rosy face and the way she looked at him made him smirk lightly. So, finally, the princess saw how her man looked. Checking the call, he saw it was from his mother. “I have to leave, baby. Maa ka call tha.”

Her face saddened lightly, “Bas thoda se kha lijiye…”

He looked at her and the dinner plate she brought. “Tumne bahar dinner nahi kiya…?”

She took the plate and sat in front of him. “Main aapke bina kaise khati? Woh toh choco shake tha, isliye mujhse control nahi hua,” she said like a baby, almost defending her earlier behavior.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. She was his everything. Her care for him was the most adorable part of their love. She fed him the first bite and then took one herself, despite her hand paining from the cuts. Taking the plate from her, he fed her this time and ate along with her.

Once done, he kept the plate aside and walked to her washroom to clean his hands. Remembering the gift he brought, he went towards the balcony and retrieved the bag he had carried. She looked at him in confusion as he handed over the bag to her. She was surprised to see beautiful dresses and lots of chocolates inside. Keeping the dresses aside, she immediately opened one chocolate and raised it to his lips to take the first bite.

He took the first bite, watching her possessively, and smiled as she finished the rest of the chocolate. He loved how she didn’t deny his gift or say thank you. Their bond was way beyond such formalities. He loved how she considered him as hers.

Getting up, he sat on his knees in front of her until they were face to face. Taking her chocolate-smeared hands in his, he said, “I need to leave now. Maa pareshan ho rahi hongi na.”

She nodded sweetly and looked at him surprised when he pecked her chocolate-smeared lips softly, followed by a kiss on her forehead before walking out.

She watched him go and blushed, hiding her face in the pillow. But then he walked back to her room, chuckling as he saw her face buried in the pillow. Sitting beside her, his fingers brushed through her hair. She turned to see him bent over her, “Mujhe laga aap chale gaye.”

Sidharth kissed her forehead, making her smile. “Haan, kuch yaad aa gaya tha. Achha suno, meri kal subah ki London ki flight hai.” He cupped her face as instant sadness crossed her eyes, “It’s about business, mera bachha. Important meeting hai. I’ll return in a week.”

Upset, she turned and buried her face back in the pillow, unable to stop her tears. She knew it was silly to behave this way, but she couldn’t help it. Life suddenly felt impossible without him. How would she stay without him for a week? She didn’t wonder; she had lived twenty years of her life without him.

Sidharth sighed and pulled her petite body into his lap, cocooning her in his embrace. “Tum aise upset ho jaogi, toh mera man kaise hoga jane kaa? Haan?”

She rested her face on his chest, “Mujhe nahi achha lag raha.”

“Mujhe pata hai, baby. But kaam hai, jana padega na…” He smiled at the thought of her not wanting him to go away. It was so cute, such a delicate feeling that filled his heart with happiness, to be loved so much by his girl.

“You are one bad, jaana,” she complained ever so cutely that he couldn’t help but hide his face in her neck and kiss her just below her earlobe. “I promise to be back as early as possible.”

She nodded softly and hugged him around his neck, making him lean back to give her space to engulf him completely. It was so special and heartwarming to have her in his embrace. “Aur haan, jab main wapas nahi aa jata, agar mujhe pata chala ke tumne dobara koi stupid si harkat ki hai ya khudko hurt kiya hai, then you can’t imagine what I will do.”

Making a baby face, she rubbed her nose against his neck, melting his anger. “Gussa nahi kar raha hun, main bachha. Please apna khayal rakhna. Aur please apna phone charge karna. At no point of time do I want your phone to be switched off. Samjhi tum?”

She looked up at him with her adorable face. “Agar aap ko meri yaad aayegi toh aap kya karoge?”

Her innocent question was filled with so much love. He smiled softly and brushed his fingers through the back of her hair. “Tumhare closet se tumhari ek tasvir aur dupatta churaya hai maine.”

His confession made her blush, and she hid her face back in his neck. “Aap ab jayiye. Maa intezar kar rahi hogi na aap ka. Pareshan ho jayengi.”

Her words touched his heart. She had accepted not only him but his entire life without any conditions. She never questioned him but trusted him completely. She was the purest soul, and he had no idea how he had found such a gem. What had he ever done to be worthy of her?

Keeping her on the bed, he still kept her close in his embrace and caressed her lovingly until sleep took over her. Removing her fingers softly from his shirt, he kissed her forehead, covered her with the duvet, and left.

Sidharth was lost in her thoughts as the flight took off. He wrapped himself in her dupatta and felt her natural cologne as if she were wrapping him in her arms. He had no idea what magic she had cast on him, but he couldn’t imagine his life without her now. They both were like a mysterious book for each other, with a new story on every page. They just had to keep reading, understanding each other, and building a life together.

By the time Shehnaaz made her way to college, she found her friends glaring at her, waiting impatiently. She was in a really good mood, but the angry faces of her friends made her feel guilty.

Shehnaaz sighed, “What…?”

Mayank rolled his eyes, “Just shut up… ek…”

Ankita cut him off, “Ek shabd muh se nikala na toh… toh… Mayank, kuch bolo na.”

Shehnaaz rolled her eyes while Mayank smacked her head lightly, “Toh main bol raha tha na, tum beech mein kyun aayi?”

Anu giggled at their antics, “Shehnaaz, ye kya stupidity hai?”

Ranbir hugged her, breaking down in tears, “Tu pagal hai? Kuch ho jata toh?”

Shehnaaz sighed, “Ranbir, guys, main theek hoon…”

Nisha slapped her arm, “You are a stupid… a big stupid.”

Anu watched her dressing on her hands and feet. “Aaj ka din aaram kyu nahi kiya?”

Shehnaaz made a face, “Mujhe bahot bore ho raha tha.”

Ankita rolled her eyes, “Toh yahan pe kya laddoo baat rahe hai jo aa gayi?”

Ranbir held Shehnaaz by the arms, making her sit properly. Nisha was so used to it that it didn’t affect her as much, but it still killed her inside. Anu watched Mayank and Ankita lost in each other, “Why are all relationships so complicated? Why does the person we love, love someone else? And knowing that, still we fall in love with that person? Why does love hurt?”

Anu’s words left everyone in wonder. But Shehnaaz’s eyes shined as she remembered Sidharth’s selfless love, “Love never hurts. You can experience love when you are truly in love with somebody. Love never hurts. Love is love, in every way.”

Anu heard Shehnaaz’s words and somehow, her own questions were answered. Expecting something is not love. Love is a different feeling altogether. Through the lecture, Shehnaaz was lost in the memories of yesterday. The way he cared for her, made her sleep in his embrace before leaving. She knew he was far away in London. She wanted to see him, “

Sirf ek baar dekha unhe… aur ek week na dekhne ka intazam bhi kar liya unhone… Sadu… waise itne sadu bhi nahi hai… par mujhe yaad aa rahi hai uski… par kaam bhi toh jaruri hai na Shehnaaz… tu apna khali dimaag mat chala…”

It had been three days since he left. Her life just seemed to revolve around her man. The clouds of sadness started to vanish slowly, slowly. She smiled at her own thoughts, “Jaise jaise… main unhe, unki chhoti chhoti baaton, unki aadaton ko, jaanti jaungi… tab tab mujhe unse aur pyar ho jayega… woh din jarur aayega… jab unki zindagi ka har raaz is dil mein kaid hoga… unhe samajhna itna aasan nahi hai… this stupid lamb has fallen in love with a lion… like her favorite Twilight series…”

Sidharth lay down on the bed, exhausted, and kept her picture close to his heart which had taken place in his wallet. Her dupatta had become his latest pillow. He missed her badly. He had her number and could call her any moment, but somehow he didn’t. It wasn’t enough. He knew she was fine. He had assigned a bodyguard for her without letting her know, to follow her everywhere from a distance so that she wouldn’t be scared. He was a possessive man and he couldn’t help it.

The fifth day passed and the need to see each other, meet each other, started to burn in their hearts. Shehnaaz chuckled, being scolded by a teacher for not concentrating, and sat back. Her heart was long lost to her love. “Aapko jaana hai, samajhna hai, us pal tak pahochna hai, jahan hum dono ke darmiyan kuchh bhi nahi hoga… na fasle… na waqt… na koi takrar… na koi jhoot… na koi raaz… na hi ye hawa… bas aap aur main…”

She took the spread around her, hiding inside to submit herself back to his dreams.

Sidharth was in deep sleep when her wet hair tickled near his ear as he heard her sweet voice, “Sidharth, uthiye…”

Sidharth made a face and moved closer to rest his face in her lap, “Baby, sone do na.”

Shehnaaz smiled and kissed his arm, “Sidharth, dekhiye, subah ho gayi hai… aap ki meeting hai thodi der mein…”

Sidharth pecked her tummy, “I hate you…”

Shehnaaz chuckled, “I hate you t…” Before she could complete, she was rolled on the bed until she found herself underneath him. Groaning, he pecked her lips, “You love Sidharth… the most in the world.”

Shehnaaz smiled and kissed his hair as he dug his neck deeper into her hair, smelling her cologne, filling his lungs with her warmth.

The knock on the door brought Sidharth back to his senses and he realized he was alone on the bed with a pillow in his arms.

A week felt like ages as Shehnaaz made faces throughout the lecture. Post-lecture, they made their way to the canteen. There was something weird about Ankita today. She was hiding something, they could make out, and so could Mayank.

Shehnaaz, Ranbir, Nisha, and Anu were on a conference call.

Shehnaaz started, “Kuchh to khichadi pak rahi thi… Ankita ka face dekha?”

Nisha agreed, “Main bol rahi hoon… kal kuchh to hai… par yaad nahi aa raha…”

Anu tried to help, “Shaayad koi special day ho… birthday ya kuch aur special?”

Ranbir slapped his head, “Oh no… kal to unki anniversary hai…”

Anu fainted right there. “They are married??”

Shehnaaz smiled excitedly, “Arre haan… kal unki relationship ko 3 saal ho jayenge…”

Anu came to her senses as she realized which anniversary they were talking about.

Ranbir smiled cheekily, “Iska matlab, kal Ankita aur Mayank ne kuchh plan kiya hoga… jarur Ankita ke farmhouse pe wo dono time spend karenge…”

Shehnaaz giggled cutely, “Toh hume bhi bin bulaye mehman ki tarah wahan jaana chahiye… unki band bajane… it will be dead fun… what say?”

Anu gaped, “Ankita will kill us on the spot…”

Ranbir rolled his eyes, “Arre, darne ka nahi… it will be rocking fun…”

Nisha, “Par vaat kaise lagayenge? Koi plan…”

With that, the gang started laughing like evils, scaring Anu.