Chapter 16

Shehnaaz stormed back into the Shukla mansion, her entire body trembling with anger. Her heart was pounding in her chest, each beat echoing the frustration and rage that surged through her veins. Behind her, Sidharth followed closely, his expression dark and thunderous, still fuming from the recent confrontation. The tension between them crackled in the air like a live wire, ready to spark into something explosive.

“Kyu roka mujhe…” Sidharth’s voice was a growl, his frustration evident as he threw the words at Shehnaaz, his tone demanding an answer. The fire in his eyes had not dimmed since they had left the scene.

Shehnaaz spun around to face him, her eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and confusion. “Kya main jaan sakti hoon… tum kya karne ki koshish kar rahe the?” Her voice was sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. She was struggling to keep her emotions in check, but the hurt and anger were too powerful to be contained.

Sidharth’s anger erupted once more, this time with even more intensity. He slammed his already bleeding hand against the nearest wall, the impact causing a dull thud to reverberate through the room. “Main uss Balraj ko zinda nahi chhodunga!” he roared, the veins in his neck standing out as he spat out the words. The thought of Balraj, the man who had dared to harm Shehnaaz, filled him with a blinding rage. He wanted nothing more than to make him pay for what he had done.

Shehnaaz, however, remained calm, her voice soft yet firm as she asked, “Kyuu?” Her question was simple, yet it carried the weight of everything she was feeling. Her eyes searched Sidharth’s face, looking for some sign that he understood what she was trying to say.

Sidharth was taken aback by her response, his anger momentarily replaced by confusion. “Kyu…matlab…usne jo kiya…uski saza usse aaj milke rahegi…usse Sidharth Shukla se ab koi nahi bacha sakta…” His voice wavered slightly as he tried to make sense of her question. How could she ask why he was so determined to punish Balraj? Didn’t she understand how much it tore him apart to see her hurt? The idea that Balraj could have hurt Shehnaaz, that he could have caused her even a fraction of the pain she had suffered, was enough to drive him to the edge.

Sidharth let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging under the weight of everything that had happened. His voice was low and filled with a desperate kind of frustration as he spoke, “Shehnaaz… humara jhagda ek taraf hai… lekin jo Balraj ne kiya… main usse jaan se maar dunga.” His words were fierce, carrying the raw intensity of his emotions. He was consumed by the need to protect her, to avenge the wrong that had been done to her, no matter what it took.

But Shehnaaz, to his surprise, responded with a hollow laugh. It was a sound that was devoid of warmth, one that chilled him to the core. “Come on… Sidharth… relax… it really doesn’t matter what your reaction is over this,” she said, her tone cold and distant. Her words cut through him like a knife, leaving a deep wound that he wasn’t sure would ever heal.

Sidharth felt the sting of her words, and it hurt more than he could have imagined. The pain in his chest was almost physical, a sharp ache that made it hard to breathe. He had always thought that he could handle anything as long as he had Shehnaaz by his side, but now, her indifference was tearing him apart. He tried to remind himself that this was only the beginning, that there was much more to come, but that did little to ease the hurt.

Shehnaaz, her eyes hardening with resolve, spoke again, this time with an edge of harshness in her voice. “Usne Shehnaaz Gill ke saath galat harkat karne ki jurrat ki… aur Shehnaaz Gill apne dushmano ko khud saza dena jaanti hai… usse saza main dungi… aur koi nahi.” Her words were laced with a fierce determination, as if she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince him. There was a defiant fire in her eyes, one that told Sidharth she was serious about handling this on her own.

But Sidharth couldn’t bear the thought of her facing Balraj alone. The very idea filled him with a sudden, overwhelming sense of protectiveness that he couldn’t suppress. His voice was firm, almost commanding, as he snapped back, “Bilkul bhi nahi… tum uske aaspaas bhi nahi jaogi… Samjhi tum?” His heart pounded with the intensity of his feelings, a mix of fear and anger that she would put herself in danger like this.

Shehnaaz, however, merely chuckled at his words, as if she found his concern amusing. “Samjhana to tumhe hai Sidharth… main Shehnaaz Gill hoon… and he will get what’s in store for Shehnaaz Gill,” she replied, her voice dripping with a kind of cool confidence that only frustrated Sidharth further. She was determined to face this on her own terms, to prove that she could handle her own battles.

Sidharth felt a wave of helplessness wash over him as he realized there was no convincing her otherwise. The wall between them felt higher than ever, her stubbornness pushing them further apart. He let out a sigh of resignation, the fight draining out of him as he muttered, “Tumhe jo karna hai tum karo… par main usse nahi chhodunga.” His voice was softer now, almost defeated. He knew he couldn’t stop her, but that didn’t mean he was going to back down either. No matter what she said, he wasn’t going to let Balraj get away with what he had done.

Shehnaaz felt a sudden surge of anger rising within her, a fire that she could no longer contain. The thought of Sidharth constantly trying to protect her, to fight her battles, was something she couldn’t bear anymore. She knew he meant well, but she needed him to focus on his own life now. He couldn’t keep taking care of her forever. She had fought her own battles before, and she could do it again. She was strong enough to handle whatever came her way.

“Sidharth, kyu ye dikhava… that you care… stop your acting…” Shehnaaz’s voice trembled with emotion, her eyes flashing with a mixture of pain and fury as she spoke. “It doesn’t matter… Jab tumhe mere liye ladne ka haqq tha… tum the nahi. Aur ab jab tum ladna chahte ho… let me get you clear… tum wo haqq kho chuke ho… mere liye ladne ka haqq kho chuke ho…”

Each word she spoke was like a dagger to Sidharth’s heart. He stood there, frozen, as her words washed over him, the pain in her voice cutting through him deeper than anything else could. He had always tried to protect her, to be there for her when she needed him, but hearing her say that he no longer had the right to fight for her was like a punch to the gut. It left him feeling helpless, like he had failed her in the worst way possible.

Shehnaaz’s voice grew steadier, firmer, as she continued, “Isliye… mere liye ladne ke bare me sochna bhi mat. Shehnaaz Gill itni kamzor nahi… ke apne dushmano se badla lene ke liye… uske kisi ki jarurat pade.” Her eyes were fierce, her resolve unshakable. She wanted him to understand that she didn’t need anyone to fight her battles. Not anymore.

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A gentle hand rested on Sam’s shoulder, a comforting gesture that broke through the storm of emotions swirling within her. She was standing by the window, her eyes blurred with tears as she gazed out into the darkness. The weight of everything that had happened felt crushing, almost too much to bear.

Sam slowly turned around, wiping at her tear-streaked face, only to see Simran standing there, her expression filled with concern and empathy. Simran’s presence was a small comfort in the midst of her turmoil, but it still wasn’t enough to ease the pain Sam felt.

“There is much more yet… right?” Simran’s voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if she knew there was more going on than Sam was letting on.

Sam, unable to meet Simran’s gaze, turned her back to her, trying to hide her tears. She didn’t want to break down, didn’t want to let anyone see just how shattered she felt inside. But the sorrow was overwhelming, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep it all in.

Simran stepped closer, her voice gentle but insistent, “Sam, there are already many confusions… please don’t hide anything…”

Sam let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “There is nothing more… I’m just sad for Shehnaaz… she deserved none of this… she deserved love… happiness… care… but she got hurt… pain… fear… and hatred…” Her voice was tinged with a deep sadness that resonated with the truth of her words. Shehnaaz had always been someone who deserved so much more than what life had handed her.

But Simran wasn’t entirely convinced. She could sense that there was something Sam wasn’t saying, something deeper that was eating away at her. “You can share,” Simran encouraged softly, hoping that Sam would open up.

A sad smile crossed Sam’s face, tears brimming in her eyes as she looked down at the floor. “Can you believe… I never liked Shehnaaz when we were young…” she confessed, her voice trembling with the weight of old memories. “Because Sidharth always gave her more importance than anyone… It’s not that I liked Sidharth or hated Shehnaaz… but then… I also wanted to be pampered the same way Sidharth would do to Shehnaaz… I was kind of jealous of her…” There was a faint, almost wistful tone to her words, a longing for the attention she had craved as a child.

Simran smiled sadly, recalling their childhood, understanding the complexities of those early feelings. It was easy to see how a young Sam might have felt overlooked, even if it was unintentional. Childhood emotions were often tangled, full of misunderstandings and unspoken desires.

Sam’s voice grew quieter, more reflective, as she continued, “But then when we started to grow up… I started to understand the real Shehnaaz… She and Sidharth always remained best friends… but then I got a sister in her… she used to call me ‘Di’ when we were young… but now she calls me Sam…” A single tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke, the memories of their bond tugging at her heart. “Whatever Balraj veerji did with her was disgusting…” Her voice broke slightly at the end, the anger and pain she felt for Shehnaaz bubbling to the surface.

Sam’s voice trembled as she uttered the words that tore at her heart, “And we lost our Shehnaaz after that…” The weight of those words hung in the air, heavy with sorrow and regret.

Simran’s eyes immediately filled with concern and sympathy, her heart aching for the woman who had been through so much. She could see the pain etched deeply in Sam’s face, a pain that went far beyond the words she had spoken. There was more to this story, something darker and more devastating than Simran could have imagined.

Sam closed her eyes, trying to block out the flood of memories that came rushing back. The images were vivid, painful reminders of how their old Shehnaaz had started to fade away, piece by piece, after that day. It was as if the light in her had begun to dim, slowly at first, but then more rapidly as time went on. The vibrant, spirited Shehnaaz they had all known was slipping away, and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

The past that haunted Sam was one she had never dared to share with Simran.

#FLASHBACKS

Shehnaaz’s eyes fluttered open, the heavy weight of sleep still pulling at her, making it difficult to fully wake. It felt as though she had been asleep for days, perhaps even longer. But there was no peace in this rest—only a deep, aching void where life and emotion once thrived.

Her eyes, usually so full of light and warmth, now held nothing but pain. A pain so profound that it seeped into every part of her being, rendering her almost lifeless. She could barely muster the strength to keep her eyes open, the world around her blurry and distant.

The doctors came in, performed their routine checks, and left without a word. They knew that her physical wounds would heal with time, but the emotional scars were another matter entirely. Those would take much longer to mend, if they ever did.

Standing near her bed were Malini and Mohinder, their faces etched with worry and guilt. Sam stood beside them, her own heart heavy with the weight of everything that had happened. Dadi maa, however, was seated right next to Shehnaaz, her hand gently brushing through Shehnaaz’s hair in a soothing, maternal gesture.

Feeling the soft, familiar touch, Shehnaaz slowly opened her eyes again, her gaze unfocused but directed at Dadi maa. There was no recognition, no flicker of emotion in her expression—just emptiness.

Dadi maa tried to smile, her eyes glistening with tears that she desperately tried to hold back. “Ab kaisa lag raha hai, beta?” she asked softly, her voice trembling with the effort to stay strong for her beloved granddaughter.

Shehnaaz didn’t respond. She just stared at Dadi maa, her eyes devoid of any sign of life. It was as though she didn’t hear the question, or perhaps she simply couldn’t find the words to answer.

Dadi maa leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Shehnaaz’s forehead, forcing a smile even as her heart shattered into a million pieces. The smile didn’t reach her eyes; it was a mask, a facade to hide the deep sorrow she felt watching their once-vibrant Shehnaaz reduced to this state.

Inside, Dadi maa was crying, mourning the loss of the lively, joyful girl who had always been the light of their family. The Shehnaaz who had laughed, dreamed, and loved with all her heart was gone, replaced by this hollow, broken shell.

Malini, standing nearby, couldn’t bear to see Shehnaaz like this. Her voice was shaky as she asked, “Shehnaaz beta… ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai?”

But before Shehnaaz could even attempt to respond, Dadi maa intervened, her tone firm but caring. “Shehnaaz ko aaram ki jarurat hai… aap sab ghar jayiye… main hoon yahan.” There was an unspoken command in her words—a need to protect Shehnaaz from any more questions, any more reminders of the horrors she had endured.

Sam, worried and unwilling to leave Shehnaaz’s side, pleaded softly, “Dadi maa… please, main bhi ruk jaaun?”

Dadi maa sighed, recognizing the concern in Sam’s eyes, the same concern she felt herself. She nodded, “Thik hai…” Her voice was gentle, but weary, as though the weight of everything was beginning to take its toll on her too.

Malini and Mohinder exchanged a glance, their faces heavy with shame and regret. The guilt of their son’s vile actions hung over them like a dark cloud, suffocating them with the knowledge that nothing they did could undo the damage. They quietly left the room, burdened by the sorrow that filled every corner of their hearts.

Shehnaaz closed her eyes again, but this time it wasn’t to sleep. She retreated deep into her thoughts, a place where she felt both comfort and torment. She could feel herself being pulled back into the memories she had tried so hard to bury, but now they were rising to the surface, demanding to be acknowledged. As she lay there, Dadi maa and Sam settled onto a nearby couch, their eyes frequently drifting back to Shehnaaz, watching her for any sign of discomfort or distress.

The room was quiet, save for the soft sound of breathing and the occasional rustle of fabric. The peace was suddenly interrupted when Raghu kaka entered, his face creased with worry.

Dadi maa noticed his expression immediately. “Raghu, lunch lane mein itna waqt kyu laga?” she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Raghu kaka sighed deeply, “Sorry, Dadi maa… par Sidharth baba ka call aaya tha…”

At the mention of Sidharth’s name, Dadi maa instinctively glanced at Shehnaaz, worried that it might disturb her. But seeing her eyes still closed, she sighed with relief. What she didn’t realize was that Shehnaaz was very much awake, her mind slowly beginning to stir from the numbness that had enveloped her for so many years. The Shehnaaz who had been asleep in the depths of her soul for the past fifteen years was starting to awaken, though not in the way anyone had hoped.

Dadi maa’s concern deepened. “Pareshan kyu lag rahe ho, Raghu?” she asked, her voice gentle but probing.

Raghu kaka looked at Dadi maa with unease. “Dar asal, Sidharth baba… bahot bure mood mein the… aur Shehnaaz baby se abhi ke abhi baat karwane ki zidd kar rahe the.”

Sam, who had been quietly observing, listened intently, though Sidharth’s name didn’t seem to provoke any reaction in Shehnaaz. For the first time, the mention of him didn’t stir anything within her—no excitement, no dread, no emotion at all. She was awake, but she felt nothing.

Dadi maa’s face creased with worry. “Aap… ne unhe kuch bataya to nahi na?” she asked cautiously, fearing that Raghu might have unintentionally revealed something that could cause further complications.

Raghu kaka quickly shook his head, “Nahi, Dadi maa… Sidharth baba bahot gussa kar rahe the aur Shehnaaz baby se baat karwane ki zidd kar rahe the… bahot udaas lag rahe the.”

Dadi maa sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on her. “Phir tumne kya kaha?” she asked, needing to know how Raghu had handled the conversation.

“Mene jhoot bol diya ki aap aur Shehnaaz baby bahar gaye hain,” Raghu kaka replied, hoping he had made the right choice.

Dadi maa felt a wave of relief wash over her. It wasn’t the right time for Sidharth to know the truth or to speak with Shehnaaz. Right now, her sole focus was on bringing Shehnaaz back to some semblance of normalcy. Everything else, including Sidharth’s anger and frustration, would have to wait.

But Raghu kaka’s next words brought a new worry. “Par Sidharth baba aur gussa ho gaye… aur kehne lage agar shaam tak Shehnaaz baby ne unse baat nahi ki to wo pehli hi flight se vapas aa jayenge.”

Despite Raghu kaka’s warning, Shehnaaz remained completely unmoved. It was as if she hadn’t even heard the conversation. She was lost, drifting somewhere far away in her own world, detached from the reality around her. Sidharth’s threats, his anger, even his concern—it all seemed to fall on deaf ears.

After delivering the news, Raghu kaka placed the tiffin on a nearby table and turned to leave when Malini entered the room. She was visibly concerned about Dadi maa, who hadn’t left the hospital since Shehnaaz had been admitted.

“Dadi maa, aap kal se hospital mein hain… aap bhi ghar jakar thoda rest kar lijiye,” Malini suggested gently, noticing how tired and worn out Dadi maa looked.

The thought of leaving Shehnaaz alone again filled Dadi maa with dread. The fear of something happening in her absence, of Shehnaaz needing her and finding herself alone, was unbearable. But she also knew that there were other responsibilities she had to attend to—filing a complaint at the police station, ensuring that Shehnaaz received the psychological help she desperately needed. There was so much left to do, and it all felt overwhelming.

“Nahi, hum thik hai,” Dadi maa insisted, though her voice lacked its usual firmness. She didn’t want to leave, not when Shehnaaz was still so fragile.

Malini sighed, trying to make Dadi maa see reason. “Dadi maa… samajhne ki koshish kijiye… agar aapki tabiyat bhi kharab ho gayi to Shehnaaz ko kaun sambhalega? Please, aap jakar thoda rest kar lijiye.”

The concern in Malini’s voice was enough to finally make Dadi maa pause. She sighed heavily, the exhaustion clear in her eyes. She knew Malini was right. If she fell ill, there would be no one strong enough to take care of Shehnaaz in the way she needed. Reluctantly, she nodded in agreement, though her heart ached at the thought of leaving her granddaughter, even for a short while.

Shehnaaz lay there, her body feeling like it had emerged from a deep, dark abyss. The transition from that world of darkness to this dimly lit room was jarring. As she slowly opened her eyes, she searched for the familiar comforting presence of Dadi maa, but instead, she found only Malini and Sam.

Sam’s face lit up with a soft smile as she reached out, brushing Shehnaaz’s hair tenderly. Her touch was meant to soothe, to bring some semblance of comfort amidst the chaos that raged inside Shehnaaz’s mind. Malini, sitting beside Sam, gently held Shehnaaz’s hand, offering silent support.

With a voice laced with fear and confusion, Shehnaaz whispered, “Dadi maa kahan hai?” Her eyes, though clouded with pain, held a glimmer of hope, searching for Dadi maa’s familiar, comforting presence.

Malini smiled gently, though her eyes betrayed a hint of worry. “Dadi maa kal se tumhare sath thi. Humne unhe thodi der aaram karne ko kaha hai. Wo sham ko aajayengi,” she explained, trying to provide reassurance.

Shehnaaz felt a pang of guilt and sadness at the thought of Dadi maa not being there with her. She nodded slowly, understanding but still feeling the void left by her absence.

Sam, noticing the distress etched on Shehnaaz’s face, asked with concern, “Tumhe dard to nahi ho raha na?”

Shehnaaz shook her head, her mind struggling to grasp the question. Was Sam referring to the physical pain or the deeper, more haunting emotional wounds? She was unsure. As she tried to make sense of her surroundings, the horrific memories of what had happened began to surface, crashing down on her with a force that shook her to her core.

Tears began to spill from her eyes, her body trembling uncontrollably. The memories of the trauma, the fear, and the pain became overwhelming. She could hardly process the magnitude of what she had been through, and the presence of Malini and Sam, though comforting, did little to quell her inner turmoil.

Malini, seeing Shehnaaz’s distress, tried to soothe her with gentle words, “Khabarayiye mat beta… aapko kuchh nahi hoga. Hum hai na aapke sath… Ab Balraj aapke paas bhi nahi aayega.”

But even as Malini spoke, Shehnaaz’s fear remained palpable. Her mind, clouded with confusion and anguish, fixated on one question, “Sidharth vapas aa gaya na…?” Her voice quivered with a blend of fear and desperation.

Sam’s heart ached as she shook her head, unable to offer the comfort that Shehnaaz desperately needed.

Shehnaaz’s tears flowed uncontrollably as the confusion and despair overwhelmed her. Her mind felt disoriented, like she was grappling with multiple facets of her fractured self. She was caught in a storm of emotions, struggling to understand why Sidharth had not returned for her. His absence seemed like a betrayal, shattering the promise he had made to come back if she needed him.

Her heart ached with each sob, the weight of unmet expectations and broken promises pressing heavily upon her. The sense of abandonment cut deep, leaving her feeling more alone than ever. In her confusion, she couldn’t even recall the recent conversations or the cold detachment she had exhibited. It was as if her emotions were too tangled for her to separate or make sense of.

Malini’s sudden outburst of tears caught Shehnaaz’s attention. The sight of Malini crying brought a new wave of concern. Shehnaaz, despite her own anguish, felt a pang of worry for Malini. She looked at her, her eyes filled with concern and a touch of helplessness.

Malini, her voice choked with emotion, said, “Shehnaaz, please… hume maaf kar dijiye.” Her tears fell freely, mingling with her words of apology.

Shehnaaz, despite her distress, shook her head gently, signaling that Malini should not blame herself. It was not their fault; she didn’t want them to feel responsible for what had happened.

But Malini continued, her voice trembling with regret, “Nahi, Shehnaaz… ye sab humara kusur hai. Hume Balraj ko vapas bula hi nahi chahiye tha… par hum kare to kya kare… hum bhi toh maa hai na, apne bete ko dekhne ko man to karega na.” Malini’s words conveyed a deep sense of guilt, mingled with the helplessness of a mother torn between familial duty and moral responsibility.

The mention of Balraj’s name caused Shehnaaz to shiver involuntarily. Her fear resurfaced, and she looked around the room anxiously, as if expecting Balraj to appear. The memories of his cruelty haunted her, and the mere mention of his name stirred her terror.

Shehnaaz’s feelings of disgust were overwhelming. Every touch and kiss from Balraj, even the memories of them, felt tainted and vile. Her body recoiled at the thought of what had transpired, her lips and shoulders feeling like they were coated in a layer of filth. The mere possibility of what could have happened if she hadn’t taken that risk made her shiver with fear. The thought of Balraj’s intentions and actions was enough to haunt her dreams.

Malini, witnessing Shehnaaz’s distress, felt a deep sense of shame and helplessness. Her tears flowed freely as she expressed her regret and guilt. “Balraj ne jo kiya, wo mafi ke layak nahi hai… hum jante hain,” she said, her voice trembling with sorrow.

Shehnaaz looked away, her face etched with misery and confusion. She struggled to process her emotions and didn’t know how to react to Malini’s words. The weight of the situation was too heavy, and her mind was clouded with distress.

Sam, who had been watching the exchange, felt a pang of confusion and shame. She couldn’t understand how her mother could even consider forgiveness for someone who had caused so much pain. Her heart ached for Shehnaaz, and she felt a deep sense of shame over the situation.

Malini continued, her voice laced with regret, “Main jaanti hoon… main bahut buri aur swarthi (selfish) ban rahi hoon, par main karu to kya karu… in sab mein, main sab kuchh kho rahi hoon.” Her words revealed her inner turmoil—she felt she was losing everything and was consumed by guilt and sorrow.

Shehnaaz’s own tears began to flow more freely, touched by the emotional outpouring from Malini. The sight of Malini’s suffering and the depth of her remorse stirred something in Shehnaaz, adding another layer to her emotional pain. She cried not only for her own suffering but also for the shared anguish that seemed to envelop everyone in the room.