Chapter 12

As she smiled at the paradox of her emotions, Sidharth stirred, shifting in his sleep. He turned onto his back, and his head nestled comfortably on her lap. Shehnaaz was taken completely off guard by the unexpected gesture. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt the weight of his head gently resting on her.

Shehnaaz’s heart raced as she pieced together what must have transpired. Her mind was a whirlwind of guilt and confusion, leaving her feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Slowly, she lifted her gaze to meet Sidharth’s, only to find his eyes blazing with an intensity that made her heart sink.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, his voice sharp and filled with anger.

His words pierced through her, amplifying the guilt that had been gnawing at her insides. Shehnaaz’s eyes were filled with guilt as she whispered, “Sidharth woh tumne raat ko…”

“Raat ko kya, Naaz?” he interrupted, his tone a mixture of frustration and fury. In a flash, his hands gripped her wrists, pinning them to the bed with a force that left her breathless.

“Mene raat ko bulaya tha na…,” his voice was a harsh whisper, each word laced with accusation.

“Tum aayi…?” he pressed on, his eyes searching hers for an answer he already seemed to know.

Shehnaaz’s head bowed slightly as she reluctantly shook it, her silence confirming what Sidharth had guessed. His grip tightened, and he leaned closer, their faces mere inches apart.

“Nahi aayi na… toh ab kyu aayi ho?” His voice was raw with emotion, each word dripping with the frustration and restlessness

Shehnaaz felt the weight of his body pressing down on her, trapping her beneath him. The proximity was overwhelming, her senses heightened by the closeness. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, the rhythm of his breath against her skin. Every fiber of her being was acutely aware of him, and it was impossible to ignore the turmoil that raged between them.

Shehnaaz’s body trembled beneath Sidharth’s, a shiver that didn’t escape his notice. His anger was palpable, but as he became acutely aware of their physical closeness, a new awareness dawned upon him. Their legs were intertwined, his crossed over hers, their stomachs pressed flat against each other. Their chests were so close they could feel each other’s heartbeats, and their hands were tightly pinned together. Their faces were so near that he could feel her breath mingling with his.

Sidharth’s breaths came out in ragged, angry bursts, his fury radiating with every exhale that brushed against her lips. The fact that she hadn’t come to him when he had called her gnawed at him, each unanswered question deepening his resentment.

Why hadn’t she come? Why had she ignored his words so easily? Did he mean so little to her? The thought alone made his blood boil. He hated the feeling of insignificance she had unintentionally imposed on him, the idea that he might not be as important to her as she was to him.

The intensity of his emotions surged, and without thinking, he bent down and crushed his lips into hers.

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Sidharth

I crushed my lips fiercely into hers. I was angry, I was frustrated, and I needed to take it out on her. There was this overwhelming sense of possession within me, an inexplicable feeling that she was mine. It was as if I had the right to hurt her, to love her, to claim her, to do whatever I wanted to her. Her ignoring my words hurt me deeply, and I couldn’t understand why. I knew I was falling for her, but I hadn’t expected that her love would drive me to such insanity.

It was like she was a drug to me, an addiction I couldn’t break free from. I needed her more than anything else in the world. I needed her to love me, to make me smile, to annoy me, to fight with me, to make me feel special, to make me feel like I belonged to her, to make me feel loved. Loved by her.

Last night, I wanted to talk to her. It was important, but she didn’t come. That fact drove me crazy. Didn’t she care at all for me? Didn’t I mean anything to her? Didn’t she love me? Would she ever love me? Could I bear it if she didn’t? Could I stay away from her?

I kissed her lower lip, desperate to feel her in every way possible. This time, I knew exactly what I was doing, but that didn’t stop me. My hands roamed around her waist, pulling her firmly into my embrace, holding her against me. I had no more doubt—she was mine, and she would be mine. I would make it possible. I couldn’t stay away from her anymore. I couldn’t just be her friend anymore.

She didn’t stop me, and I liked that. It satisfied something deep inside me. Parting a bit, I looked deep into her eyes. There was no remorse, no regret, no pain, no anger. Instead, I saw something I wanted to see. My heart fluttered with an unknown happiness as I recognized the same feeling in her eyes that I felt in mine.

I kissed her again, this time with firm possession. Her lips tasted even sweeter than before. Was that possible, or had I gone insane in love with this mad girl? Why did her annoying me make me smile? Why did I love her so much when she spoke nothing but nonsense? Why did her silly acts irritate me, yet I still wanted her to stay the same?

I kissed her lips, feeling the warmth of her breath mingling with mine. Groaning softly, I finally, reluctantly, parted my lips from hers.

She winced slightly at the separation, and I felt a strange satisfaction, as if I had marked her as mine. Both of us were breathing heavily, and she was right there in my arms, underneath me, taking deep breaths with her eyes closed. It felt so natural, yet so special. The feeling of possessing this girl made me the happiest.

Was I really falling for her to this extent? Had I already fallen crazily for her? Was I insanely in love with her? Then, in that moment, I knew. I was. I was irrevocably in love with Shehnaaz Gill.

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Sidharth… his lips came and attacked mine.

I instantly closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the bliss of the moment.

The man I had fallen in love with was kissing me again. Could there be anything more wonderful than this? No, I could never be happier.

His lips were demanding and aggressive, but I didn’t stop him. I knew he was hurt by my behavior, by how I had ignored his words and caused him pain. The guilt gnawed at me, leaving me no room to protest. I wanted him to take out his frustration on me.

He suddenly parted from me, and I opened my eyes to look at him with all the love I had for him. Although I didn’t have the courage to confess my love, I hoped he could see it in my eyes. I didn’t want him to regret our kiss like he had before. I wanted him to know that I didn’t regret his kiss, neither this one nor the previous one.

He looked deep into my eyes, and I let him see the love I felt for him. He must have felt it because his lips returned to mine, crushing into them once more. This time, the kiss was more powerful, more passionate.

As he deepened the kiss, I gave in to him completely, wanting to belong to this man forever. The warmth of his body over mine gave me a sense of togetherness. It felt like heaven to taste his lips. He kissed me as if this was the last moment of our lives. My breaths were becoming ragged, but I didn’t stop him. I couldn’t deny him.

When did this feeling take hold of me? When did denying him become impossible? Since when did his likes and dislikes matter so much to me? What was this feeling?

Was I so deeply in love with him? Was I insanely in love with this man? Yes, I truly am.

After long moments, he finally left my lips, but not before biting onto my lower lip firmly. It felt like his claim on me. I winced slightly at the intensity.

My eyes remained closed, lost in the feeling, my breaths coming fast and deep. I knew he was still close to me; I could feel his breath fanning my skin. The moment felt pure, natural, yet incredibly special.

And then I knew.

I am irrevocably in love with Sidharth Shukla.

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Kabeer ji and Rita ji, along with Dadi maa, welcomed Daarji as he walked through the main door. The warmth in the room was palpable as they greeted him with smiles and open arms.

Rajender ji, Jasbeera ji, and Payal immediately stepped forward to take Daarji’s blessings. They were filled with respect and affection for the elder.

“Daarji, aap itni jaldi! Aapne toh kaha tha aap 2-3 din baad aayenge,” Rajender ji said, a mix of surprise and curiosity in his voice.

Daarji, after exchanging greetings with the Shukla family, turned to Rajender ji. “Haan beta, wo Madanlal ne baat hi kuch aisi ki ke mujhe yahan jaldi aana hi pada,” he explained.

Rajender ji and Jasbeera ji’s expressions turned serious. “Ji matlab? Unhone aapse kuchh ulta sidha kaha?” Rajender ji asked, his voice rising with concern.

Daarji shook his head, a twinkle in his eye. “Arre, khush khabari hai,” he said, smiling.

Dadi maa stepped forward eagerly. “Bhai sahab, ab batayiye bhi,” she urged.

Daarji’s smile widened as he shared the news. “Madanlal ne apne pote Sukhveer ke liye Shehnaaz ka haath manga hai,” he announced.

“WHAT???” The entire atmosphere shifted in an instant, excitement buzzing through the room.

Jasbeera ji moved closer, her eyes wide with anticipation. “Toh fir aapne kya kaha?” she asked eagerly.

Daarji settled into a seat among the family members. “Ladka mujhe bahot achha laga,” he began.

“Isliye maine shaadi ke liye HAA keh di!” he declared with a triumphant smile.

The room erupted in joy, the family members exchanging delighted looks and happy exclamations. The news of Shehnaaz’s potential match with Sukhveer filled the room with an infectious energy, marking the beginning of an exciting new chapter for the family.

Payal was thrilled to hear the news. “Main usse abhi bulati hoon,” she exclaimed, eager to share the excitement.

Jasbeera ji stopped her immediately. “Kya kar rahi hai, puttar? Usse abhi kuch mat bol, dar jayegi. Main usse ghar jaake bataungi,” she advised.

Payal understood her mother’s point of view and nodded in agreement.

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Shehnaaz was still underneath Sidharth, taking deep breaths while Sidharth was right on top of her, panting, his breaths mingling with hers.

Both opened their eyes at the same moment, only to find themselves staring at each other from just mere inches away.

Sidharth’s arm was around her, holding her waist close to him, while the other hand was gently holding one of hers. The closeness made Shehnaaz feel completely in his presence.

Her eyes held no complaints or regret. Sidharth liked that. His eyes still looked at her intensely, while her eyes reflected pure bliss.

It felt as though the awkwardness that once existed between them had disappeared. They had shared a kiss, but this time there was no discomfort. Instead, Sidharth’s assertiveness and Shehnaaz’s response created a deep connection.

“Gussa ho mujhse?” Shehnaaz whispered softly, careful not to upset him further.

Sidharth tightened his grip on her hand, making her wince slightly. He found her reaction intriguing and satisfying. He groaned softly, “Tumhe kya farak padta hai?”

“Farak padta hai,” Shehnaaz whispered back, her voice tender. She didn’t resist his touch, indicating her willingness.

Her complete surrender to his demand stirred something powerful within him. Sidharth was deeply affected by her acceptance.

Shehnaaz knew she was profoundly in love with this man—intense and passionate, who sought to assert his presence, who struggled with being overlooked, and who was both demanding and possessive. Yet, despite his traits, she loved him deeply. His possessiveness made her feel cherished and secure.

Sidharth felt a surge of contentment with her response, as though she had stroked his ego. “Kyu?” he asked, his gaze falling on her lips, which were slightly pink and tender from their kiss. He wanted to experience that sensation again.

His eyes met hers, reflecting his desire and anticipation.

Shehnaaz’s heart raced at his question. She glanced at his eyes, which were intently focused on her lips. Taking a deep breath, she looked down, unable to meet his intense gaze.

Sidharth tightened his grip on her waist, causing her to shiver slightly. He was frustrated by the way she had looked away.

Bending closer, Sidharth spoke softly, “Look at me.”

Shehnaaz complied immediately, lifting her eyes to meet his with a look of pure innocence. The closeness between them was palpable, highlighting the contrast between his passionate intensity and her gentle demeanor.

“Kyu?” Sidharth repeated his question, his voice steady and firm.

Shehnaaz felt completely enveloped by his presence. Her dress was pressed close to her, and her dupatta had slipped away, lost between them. Sidharth’s hand was firmly on her waist, drawing her nearer, making the connection between them even more pronounced.

She was entirely at his mercy.

Sidharth’s eyes were drawn to her, noticing how her upper chest was accentuated by her kurti. He found it difficult to look away.

Shehnaaz, feeling his intense gaze, breathed heavily. “Woh… umm… me…” she began, trying to gather her thoughts.

Sidharth leaned closer, his nose brushing gently against her. Shehnaaz shivered at his touch.

Sidharth was captivated by her reaction to his proximity. He continued with a soft, affectionate touch, causing Shehnaaz to softly murmur his name, “Sidharth…”

He moved with a tender, considerate touch, ensuring she felt cared for while maintaining his composure. His focus was on being gentle and attentive, making sure his actions conveyed his feelings without overwhelming her.

Sidharth’s nose gently brushed against the curve of her neck, near the start of her kurti, causing Shehnaaz to shiver.

“Jawab do, Naaz…” he murmured.

Shehnaaz had her eyes closed, her focus entirely on the moment with him, letting go of any resistance.

Sidharth’s gaze fell upon a birthmark near her heart, a personal detail that intrigued him. He felt a deep affection for this unique part of her. Unable to resist, he placed a soft kiss on the birthmark, causing Shehnaaz to shiver with the unexpected touch. Her hands moved restlessly, as if wanting to reach out to him.

The gentle kiss turned into a more affectionate gesture as Sidharth continued to show his care. He maintained a tender touch, ensuring she felt cherished.

“Sidhaarth…” Shehnaaz whispered, her voice filled with love and longing. Lost in the moment, she let go of her fears and reluctance, focusing entirely on him.

Sidharth was moved by the depth of her feelings, his heart fluttering with emotion.

“Naaz…” he murmured back, his lips still on her skin in a gentle gesture. Shehnaaz responded by drawing closer to him, feeling a deep connection with each touch.

There was a palpable desire between them, a mix of frustration and restlessness. They both felt an intense urge to claim each other, to break free from the formality and express their feelings openly.

“I…” Shehnaaz’s whisper escaped her lips, causing Sidharth’s heart to race with anticipation.

He released her skin from his gentle touch and raised his face toward hers, his eyes locked onto hers as he waited eagerly for her next words.

Lost in the intensity of the moment, Shehnaaz was on the verge of confessing her feelings when a knock on the door abruptly brought them back to reality.

They both looked at each other, startled and caught off guard.

In that instant, Sidharth became aware of the situation and what had just transpired. Shehnaaz turned beetroot red, while Sidharth chuckled at the sight of her flushed cheeks.

“The discussion isn’t over yet, samajhi tum?” he said softly against her lips, his voice firm yet affectionate, causing her to blink rapidly in response like an innocent child.

Another knock echoed through the room.

Frustrated, Sidharth turned to the other side, giving Shehnaaz enough space to get out of bed. Shehnaaz, feeling uneasy, got up reluctantly without meeting his gaze. She adjusted her dupatta, trying to shield herself from view once again.

Sidharth glanced away, a faint smile playing on his lips as he remembered the earlier moments. His cheeks flushed slightly at the memory.

He too got out of bed, casting one last concerned look at Shehnaaz to ensure she was comfortable. Shehnaaz nodded slowly, and Sidharth moved towards the door to answer the knock.

To his surprise, it was Payal standing there.

Payal entered the room, her eyes widening in surprise as she noticed Shehnaaz. “Sidharth veerji, aap ne Shehnaaz ko…” Her voice trailed off as she took in the scene.

Payal walked over to Shehnaaz with a look of confusion. “Shehnaaz, tu yahan kya kar rahi hai? Main tujhe kab se dhoond rahi hoon…”

Shehnaaz glanced at Sidharth and then back at Payal. “Di, wo… main Sidharth se milne aayi thi…”

“Ohh…” Payal sensed the awkwardness and decided to shift the focus. “Chalo, bahar chalo. Daarji aaye hain…”

Sidharth remained silent, observing the situation with a mix of curiosity and confusion.

Shehnaaz, slightly nervous, asked, “Daarji?” But noticing Payal’s uncertain expressions, she quickly composed herself. “Chalo, jaldi chalo…” With that, Shehnaaz almost pulled Payal out of the room.

Left alone, Sidharth took a deep breath and sank onto the bed, his mind racing. He was sure Shehnaaz was about to confess her feelings, but then Payal arrived. And now, with Daarji here, would she have the chance to speak again? Did she really have feelings for him, or was he just imagining things? She had said “I…” but what exactly was she going to say? Her eyes had shown pure submission, and she hadn’t denied his kiss or touch, nor did she show any regret or rejection.

God, he felt like he was going to go mad. He needed to talk to her and sort everything out—he had to.

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Once Shehnaaz had met Daarji, she quietly returned to her room, hoping to avoid drawing any attention to herself.

No one had mentioned the wedding plans, just as Jasbeera ji had said, which left Shehnaaz to ponder over the events of a few minutes ago. She shivered as she recalled Sidharth’s kiss, his touch, and the moment when she was about to confess her feelings.

Why hadn’t she said anything? ye Di ko bhi Abhi aana tha… aur aaj Daarji ko kya ho gaya tha… etne pyar se mujhse kabhi baat nahi karte…. chhaddo…. daat daat ke bore ho gaye honge….

Lost in her thoughts, Shehnaaz didn’t notice Payal entering the room until she spoke.

Payal, sensing something was wrong, sat beside Shehnaaz and sighed. “Bachhi, kya baat hai?”

Shehnaaz hesitated before responding, her voice tinged with uncertainty. “Matlab… main samajh nahi paayi…”

Payal looked at her with concern. “Shehnaaz, tu Sidharth ke room mein kya kar rahi thi?”

Shehnaaz got up from the bed and moved away from Payal. “Di, mujhe Sidharth se kuch baat karni thi…”

“Kis baare mein?” Payal followed her, concern evident in her voice.

Shehnaaz felt her nerves heightening. Lying to her sister was becoming increasingly difficult. “Wo… bas aise hi, Di…”

Payal turned Shehnaaz around gently. “Shehnaaz, kya tere aur Sidharth ke beech kuch…” Shehnaaz’s gaze snapped up. “No, Di… kya aap bhi…?” She quickly looked away. “Aisa kuch bhi nahi hai…”

Payal let out a sigh and offered a reassuring smile. “Thik hai, main tere shabdon par vishwas karti hoon. Lekin, Shehnaaz, meri baat yaad rakhna… agar kabhi aisa kuch bhi mehsoos karte ho, toh meri badi behan hone ke nate mujhe pata hona chahiye. Samajh gayi?”

Shehnaaz felt a pang of guilt for not being completely honest with Payal. She was uncertain about Sidharth’s feelings and the state of their relationship. Without clarity from Sidharth, she couldn’t claim anything about their relationship confidently.

Shehnaaz managed a smile and wrapped her arms around Payal in a tight embrace, hoping to ease the guilt she felt. Payal returned the hug, gently patting Shehnaaz’s back in a comforting gesture.

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The Gill family was buzzing with excitement. With just a month left for their elder daughter’s wedding and Shehnaaz’s upcoming relationship, there was a palpable sense of joy and anticipation. Jasbeera ji and Rajender ji were confident that Daarji had chosen the perfect match for Shehnaaz. Daarji, himself, was thrilled that his old friend would soon be family, and he was certain Shehnaaz would embrace his decision, as did Jasbeera ji and Rajender.

Meanwhile, Sidharth and Shehnaaz were lost in their own world of emotions.

The following day, before Dadi maa could catch wind of their plans, Abhi decided to whisk Payal, Shehnaaz, and Sidharth away for a shopping spree. While Shehnaaz and Sidharth were eager to spend as much time as possible together, Payal and Abhi were equally enthusiastic about their own time together.

Abhi managed to persuade Sidharth and Shehnaaz to let them have some special time alone, promising they would all meet for lunch later. With that, Abhi and Payal went off for their shopping, leaving Shehnaaz to accompany Sidharth.

They headed to a bustling mall and settled into a cozy café.

Sidharth looked at Shehnaaz with a smile. “Tum kya logi?”

Shehnaaz cleared her throat, feeling a touch of nervousness. “Umm, coffee.”

Sidharth placed an order for two coffees, enjoying the simple pleasure of being in her company. As they waited, the atmosphere around them felt relaxed and intimate, offering them a chance to connect and enjoy each other’s presence amidst the daily hustle.

Both Sidharth and Shehnaaz found themselves at a loss for words, an ironic twist considering how effortlessly they used to converse as best friends. The ease of their previous conversations now seemed worlds away, replaced by a strange discomfort.

Sidharth cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Naaz, we need to talk.”

Shehnaaz, sensing the gravity of the moment, responded hesitantly, “Umm, woh…”

Sidharth’s eyes locked onto hers with a mixture of intensity and vulnerability. “Do you love me?”

The directness of his question took Shehnaaz by surprise. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, the bluntness of his approach leaving her momentarily speechless. The same passionate look in his eyes from their previous encounter was now focused solely on her.

Shehnaaz’s heart raced, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. The man she adored was asking her if she loved him, possibly seeking a deeper commitment. Her mind was a whirlwind of nervous thoughts. What if he didn’t feel the same way? How would she handle his rejection?

Shehnaaz looked around, trying to steady her racing thoughts, before meeting his gaze again. Her face was a mix of nervousness and anticipation. She felt as if her words were trapped, unable to escape due to her anxiety.

Sidharth, on the other hand, was struggling with impatience. Her silence was eating away at him.

“Do you love me, Naaz?” he asked again, his voice filled with earnest hope.

26

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Author’s Note

Hello, dear readers!

Thank you for joining me on this journey with Shehnaaz and Sidharth. As we dive deeper into their story, I hope you’re feeling every bit of the tension and emotion that I’ve aimed to capture.

In this moment, where vulnerability meets courage, both characters are at a crossroads. Sidharth’s directness and Shehnaaz’s nervousness reflect the complex layers of their relationship—a dance of love, fear, and hope. It’s these raw emotions and real-life uncertainties that make their story relatable and compelling.

I’m excited to continue exploring their journey together and uncover how they navigate these intense feelings. Your support and feedback mean the world to me, and I’m eager to hear your thoughts on how their story unfolds.

Also, stay tuned for Baarish,  Bhula Dunga, Mora Piya, Beintehaa and Thodasa pyar which will be starting soon along with the rest of the stories. There’s so much more in store, and I can’t wait for you to dive into these new adventures.

Don’t forget to follow me on  Wattpad, Instagram and Youtube  for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more. Your support on these platforms helps keep the creativity flowing.

With love and gratitude,

Shalaka

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