Where every word breathes Love….

Chapter 27

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Sidharth’s mind was spinning, staring blankly at the emptiness around him. A deep sense of regret washed over him as he thought about Shehnaaz. Had he ever truly understood her pain? Had he ever really tried to see what she was going through? No. He always assumed she was fine—just angry with him, just upset. He never dug deeper, never realized the seriousness of her situation. How could he have been so blind?

The memory of his desperate attempts to reach her flooded his mind. He had called her countless times, messaged her endlessly, tried every possible way to get in touch. Each failed attempt left him more shattered. He could still feel the frustration, the helplessness, as if he were holding on to a rope that was slipping out of his grasp. 

Then, the moment that changed everything flashed before his eyes—the moment he had decided to break all bonds and rush back to her, even if it meant going against Dadi Maa’s kasam. He had been ready to leave everything behind, to face the consequences, to risk it all. But his father had stopped him. His father had pulled him back, forcing him to stay, reminding him of his duties, of the promises he couldn’t break. And so, Sidharth had stayed, even though every fiber of his being screamed to go to Shehnaaz. Deep inside, he had felt that restlessness.

He clenched his fists, feeling a surge of anger and anguish. How had it come to this? How had Malini Chachi and Mohinder Chacha turned so cruel? These were the people he had once respected, people he had trusted with his sana. But they had destroyed her life, snatching her parents from her just for the sake of money. The revelation hit him like a punch to the gut every single time he thought about it. How could they do this to her? How could anyone be so heartless?

A wave of guilt crushed his chest, making it hard to breathe. How could he have been so selfish? So blind to her suffering? Shehnaaz had faced hell alone, and he had been nowhere near to protect her, to stand by her. And now, when she had finally found someone she wanted to be with, someone she believed could be there for her when she needed it the most, he was trying to take that away from her. Kaise kar diya mene yeh sab? Kaise sirf apne baare mein soch liya? He deserved this agony. He deserved every bit of this pain, this frustration, this emptiness that gnawed at his soul.

As these thoughts tormented him, he felt his resolve weaken. The guilt and despair were too overwhelming. He was supposed to be her protector, but all he had done was hurt her, push her away, and now, when she had finally found someone, he was being selfish again, thinking only of himself. Main kaise uska haq cheen sakta hoon? He thought bitterly, disgusted with himself.

Falling to his knees, Sidharth reached out to Sam, who was standing beside him, trying to offer some comfort. His voice was choked as he murmured, “It’s all my fault… I was never there for her… I couldn’t protect her…”

Sam looked at him, a mix of pain and confusion in her eyes, but Sidharth barely registered it. His thoughts were a tangled mess of self-accusation and anguish. How could he possibly make up for the pain he had caused her? He deserved to suffer. He deserved to feel this unbearable loneliness, this void that seemed to be swallowing him whole. Because that’s exactly what Shehnaaz had felt—alone, abandoned, unloved.

Suddenly, a name jolted him out of his misery—Baaz. The word echoed in his mind like a distant alarm, triggering something deep within him. Baaz? Yeh kaun hai? His heart constricted painfully, but he forced himself to regain control, even as his insides felt like they were being torn apart. Gritting his teeth, he turned to Sam, his voice strained but demanding, “Who is Baaz?”

Sidharth stood frozen, his heart still pounding from the conversation he was having with Sam. His mind was cluttered with questions, emotions, and a fear he couldn’t shake. Just as Sam gathered herself to answer him, the sound of a knock broke the heavy silence. Sidharth sighed heavily, feeling a mix of frustration and relief—relief because the moment was interrupted, and frustration because he still didn’t have the answers he so desperately needed.

He moved to open the door, his body feeling heavy with the weight of his thoughts. As he pulled it open, he was met by Hameer and Uttara standing on the other side. Hameer’s face immediately reflected concern, noticing the tear stains on Sidharth’s face. Sidharth quickly averted his gaze, embarrassed at having been caught in such an emotional state. Hameer stared at him, stunned, not knowing what had happened to push Sidharth into such a broken state. **Why was he crying? What had happened to him all of a sudden?** The questions raced through Hameer’s mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Uttara, however, was quicker to react. She moved past Sidharth and went straight to Sam, who looked equally as shaken. “Sam, kya hua? Tum itni pareshaan kyun lag rahi ho? Sab theek hai na, Sidharth?” Uttara’s voice was filled with concern as she scanned the room, her eyes finally resting on Sidharth. He didn’t look okay, not even close.

“Umm… yes,” was all Sidharth managed to say, but his voice was so hollow, so far from convincing, that it made Uttara’s heart sink even further. Without another word, Sidharth turned and quickly left the room, his chest tight with overwhelming emotions. He couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to break down in front of them, not now. Not when everything inside him felt like it was unraveling.

____________

The sky had darkened by the time Simran realized something was wrong. She hadn’t seen Sidharth for hours, and a sense of unease began to creep up inside her. She tried calling his phone, but it was switched off. Her worry deepened. Where could he be? She hadn’t seen him since lunch, and even then, he hadn’t been himself. He had barely touched his food, sitting there in silence, distant and withdrawn. Something had clearly been bothering him, but she hadn’t dared ask. His mood had seemed so off, and she didn’t want to provoke an argument.

But now, with his phone unreachable and no sign of him in the house, her concern grew. She asked everyone if they had seen him, but no one had any answers. And Shehnaaz—Shehnaaz wasn’t home either. Someone had told her that Shehnaaz was in an important meeting, which only deepened Simran’s worry. If Shehnaaz wasn’t with him, then where was he?

She sighed heavily, her frustration and worry mounting. Where are you, Sidharth? She thought, her heart racing as she dialed his number once again, but it was still switched off. The same. Off, always off. She felt helpless, her hands shaking slightly as she lowered her phone.

Unable to sit still any longer, she stepped outside into the garden. The cool evening breeze brushed against her skin as she made her way to the wooden swing, dropping herself onto it with a soft thud. Her mind was racing with all the possibilities of where Sidharth could be. Was he alright? Why was he shutting everyone out?

It was then that she caught a glimpse of something—or rather, someone—on the terrace. Her eyes narrowed, focusing on the faint figure that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. **Was that Sidharth?** She blinked, unsure if her mind was playing tricks on her. She waited, her heart pounding in her chest, eyes glued to the terrace.

A moment later, she saw it again—a flash of him, just for a second, before he vanished once more. Was it really him? Shaking her head, she didn’t wait any longer. She sprang to her feet and hurried to the terrace, her footsteps quick and determined. As she reached the top, she stopped, just a few steps away from him.

There he was, standing with his back to her, completely unaware of her presence. His shoulders were slumped, his posture defeated. He didn’t even realize she was there.

Simran’s heart ached at the sight. Sidharth had always been strong, always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but seeing him like this—broken, lost—it made her chest tighten with worry and sadness.

Sidharth was completely lost in his own world, his thoughts spiraling as emotions swirled around him. His face reflected deep turmoil, a storm of realization and confusion that had taken over him. Simran noticed every detail—the tension in his brow, the distant look in his eyes—and it made her heart sink. She couldn’t understand what had happened to him all of a sudden. What was he realizing? The fear crept into her mind like a slow, burning ache. Did he realize that he doesn’t love me? The thought pierced through her, tearing at her insides. She tried to push it away, but it lingered, making her heart feel unbearably heavy.

But if that was the case, then why did he look so upset? Shouldn’t he be relieved, even happy, if he had come to terms with his feelings? Nothing made sense, and her mind was flooded with questions, none of which had answers. The silence between them grew heavier by the second, and unable to take it any longer, she took a step forward. Hesitantly, she reached out and placed her hand gently on his shoulder, hoping to gain his attention and maybe, just maybe, offer some comfort.

Sidharth flinched at the sudden touch, startled out of his thoughts. He turned around quickly, his eyes wide with shock, but the moment he saw Simran standing there, his expression shifted to one of disappointment and discomfort. Why her? he thought to himself. In that particular moment, she was the last person he wanted to face. Seeing her standing there only intensified the guilt that had been gnawing at him, making him feel even more cornered by his own emotions. He couldn’t face her. If he did, he knew his guilt would swallow him whole once again.

Without a second thought, he turned his back to her, trying to create some distance between them. His voice came out low and dejected, “What are you doing here?”

Those words, spoken with such detachment, shattered the small flicker of hope Simran had been clinging to. Her chest tightened as she struggled to hold herself together. Why does he sound so distant? She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and gathered all the strength she could find to keep her voice steady. “Sidharth… you sound upset. What happened?”

Sidharth clenched his fists, his frustration boiling over. He felt suffocated by everything—his feelings for Shehnaaz, the guilt, the overwhelming pain—and now Simran’s presence was only making it worse. He walked towards the edge of the terrace, needing to put some space between them. The cool breeze hit his face as he gripped the cement railing tightly, trying to calm his racing thoughts. But the words spilled out anyway, almost like a plea, “Simran… just leave me alone for some time. I’ll be fine.”

Simran’s heart ached at his words. She could see through his mask of indifference—he wasn’t fine. He was far from it. The pain was written all over his face, in the way his body tensed, in his restless movements. He was hurting, and it was clear that something was tearing him apart from the inside.

She let out a small sigh, trying to steady herself. This wasn’t just about being his girlfriend right now; she was his friend too, someone who had always stood by him, no matter what. She couldn’t leave him like this, not when he was clearly in pain. Walking closer to him, she spoke softly, her voice filled with concern, “Sidharth… I’m not just your girlfriend, I’m your friend as well. You can share with me. I’m here for you.”

“Simran, can’t you for once just listen to me? Leave me alone right now!” Sidharth’s voice broke the silence, his words harsh and sharp. He didn’t mean to snap at her like that, but the frustration, the guilt, the emotions he had been bottling up for so long were bursting out uncontrollably.

Simran felt the sting of his words deep within her, the harshness cutting through her like a knife. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away, refusing to let him see her break. She knew this wasn’t the Sidharth she knew—it was his pain talking. Smiling sadly through her hurt, she spoke softly, “Sidharth… I am…”

Her words trailed off as confusion flickered across his face. He turned to face her, his voice gentler but still laced with irritation. “What? What do you mean?”

Simran looked away, unable to meet his eyes. She took a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper, but full of the truth she could no longer hide. “You need help, Sidharth… your heart needs help.”

Her words hit him like a wave. The pain in her voice made Sidharth pause. He suddenly realized how cruel he had been to her, how his anger had overshadowed everything else. He hadn’t been fair to her, and guilt flooded through him. Slowly, he walked toward her and gently took her hand in his. “Listen, I know… I’ve been rude, all the time. It’s just… I’m out of my mind. I don’t know how to handle this.”

Simran squeezed his hand slightly, offering him a small, sad smile that held no bitterness, only warmth. “I’m not angry with you, Sidharth. I know what you’re going through. I know you’re in pain… because Shehnaaz is in pain. You care about her more than you realize.”

Sidharth stared at her, speechless for a moment. She understood him so well, almost too well. Yet, despite her understanding and her constant support, why couldn’t he feel the same connection with her? Why did his heart always pull towards Shehnaaz? The frustration inside him grew, making him feel like he was losing his mind.

Unable to stand it any longer, Sidharth dropped to his knees, his hands burying themselves in his hair as he tried to hold back the storm of emotions inside him. “Everybody… Simran, everybody left her… including me. When did I become so selfish? I shouldn’t have left her alone.” His voice cracked, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. “They… those monsters… they killed her parents. Can you even believe it? She was just five years old… just a small, innocent child. And they… they snatched her parents from her.”

Sidharth’s voice grew hoarse as he relived the pain of Shehnaaz’s childhood. His chest tightened as he imagined the horror of what she must have gone through. “Kya biti hogi uske dil pe…” he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. “I don’t understand how people can be so cruel. And me… what did I do? When she needed me the most, when she needed my care, I left her all by herself. How could I do that? I don’t deserve to be called her friend… I’m not worth anything, Simran… not enough.”

He felt the weight of his words settle around him like chains. The guilt was unbearable. He had failed Shehnaaz, the one person who had trusted him, the one person who needed him. And now, all that was left was this suffocating emptiness. He had been selfish, thinking only of his own pain while she had suffered in silence. And now, even as he was tormented by his feelings for her, he realized that he had no right to stop her from finding happiness—if she had chosen someone else, then maybe that was what she deserved.

Simran stood frozen, her mind struggling to grasp the horror of what Sidharth had just revealed. Could people truly be so cruel, so heartless? How could anyone rip away someone’s entire world like that? Shehnaaz’s parents had been stolen from her at such a tender age, and with them, her purity, her innocence, her entire childhood. They took everything—her beloved memories, her dreams, her home. Simran’s heart ached at the thought of the little girl Shehnaaz once was, who had lost everything before she could even fully understand it.

The gravity of what Shehnaaz had endured hit Simran like a punch to the gut. A girl who lost her parents at the age of five—what kind of pain must she have carried all these years? The small dreams of a little girl, her joy, her friendships, her home filled with laughter and warmth—all gone in an instant. The place where she took her first steps, the love she felt from her parents, her world—everything shattered, and yet she never complained. How did she survive after losing so much?

And then, as if it wasn’t enough, they tried to strip her of her dignity. Simran couldn’t fathom the cruelty, the sheer heartlessness of those people. How could anyone be so ruthless? How could anyone be so inhuman?

But it wasn’t just Shehnaaz’s story that haunted Simran. It was the raw guilt that consumed Sidharth. His words echoed in her mind, his voice laced with regret. He had blamed himself for everything, for leaving Shehnaaz, for not being there when she needed him. The weight of his guilt was suffocating, and Simran could see it clearly now. He was drowning in it, and she needed to pull him out.

“Sidharth, it wasn’t your fault,” she whispered, her voice trembling but determined.

Sidharth, lost in his own despair, lifted his head in confusion, his brows furrowed as he looked up at her. “What? What do you mean?” His voice was shaky, as if he couldn’t handle any more revelations.

Simran took a deep breath, steadying herself. This was going to be difficult, but she had to say it. She had to tell him the truth. Closing her eyes briefly to gather all the courage she had, she spoke softly, but her words hit with the force of a storm. “Yes… it wasn’t your fault, Sidharth. It was actually our parents.”

Her words left him stunned. His eyes widened, disbelief clouding his face. “What…? What are you saying, Simran? How could it be…?”

Simran’s heart pounded in her chest, but she had to continue. She had to make him understand. “Do you remember that dream project your dad always talked about? The one he was so eager to make a reality?” She paused, trying to gauge his reaction, but Sidharth remained silent, his eyes locked on her, waiting for her to explain. “That project was supposed to be sanctioned by my dad… and you know how close our families have always been.”

Sidharth nodded slightly, but he still didn’t understand where this was going. His confusion was growing, but he didn’t interrupt her.

Simran swallowed hard before continuing, her voice filled with regret. “My dad… he asked for something in return. He made a deal with your dad. He said that the project would only go forward if… if you, Sidharth, agreed to marry me, Simran, in the future.”

The words hung in the air like a bomb that had just gone off. Sidharth’s eyes widened further, shock and disbelief etched into his features. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was beyond anything he could’ve imagined.

“What…?” Sidharth whispered, his voice barely audible.

Sidharth stood there, his mind spinning, struggling to make sense of what he had just heard. The weight of Simran’s words sank in slowly, each revelation hitting him like a tidal wave. His father had orchestrated everything—the project, his studies in London, and even his relationship with Simran. He had been blind to it all. How could he have missed the signs? His father had manipulated him, used him for his own gain, and Sidharth had fallen for it.

Simran’s voice cut through his thoughts. “It’s the truth, Sidharth… That’s why your dad was so insistent on you completing your MS in London, in the same college as me. He wanted us to meet, to form a bond, because that was his plan all along. My father, being as protective as he is, wanted the best for me. And to him, your family was perfect. They thought they could control everything—our futures, our lives, our choices.”

Sidharth felt the blood drain from his face as memories flashed before his eyes. He remembered that day so clearly now—his father’s cryptic words when he had introduced him to Simran: *”Sidharth, meet your future.”* At the time, he hadn’t understood the meaning behind it, brushing it off as his father’s typical grandiosity. But now, it all made sense. His father had never cared about Sidharth’s dreams or choices—he had only been focused on securing that project, and Simran was part of that bargain.

How could his own father betray him like this? It felt like his entire life had been a lie. Every moment with Simran, every decision he had made, all shaped by a scheme he hadn’t even known existed. And in the process, he had hurt the people who mattered most—Shehnaaz, Dadi maa, and even Simran.

Simran noticed the turmoil in Sidharth’s face and continued softly, “Our parents used us, Sidharth..”

Sidharth finally broke the silence, his voice low but firm. “No, Simran… your dad did all this for your future, for your good. But my dad… he used me for his project, and I had no idea. I was such a fool to not see it coming.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head in disbelief. “But one thing I don’t regret is meeting you. You do hold a special place in my life.”

He glanced at her, knowing she might feel sidelined by everything that had come to light. He wanted to reassure her, but even as he spoke, something in her expression unsettled him.

Simran’s lips curved into a sad, gentle smile. “Yes, Sidharth,” she said softly. “I do hold a special place in your life… but I’m not your life.”

Her words hit him like a sudden gust of wind, leaving him stunned. He stared at her, confused and uncertain. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, his voice betraying the guilt that was now surfacing within him. Did she feel like he had hurt her? Was she saying this because of him?

Simran reached out, taking his hand in hers with a warm, yet bittersweet touch. “Sidharth,” she said, her voice steady but laced with emotion. “You care about me. I know you do. But care isn’t love. You like me… but you don’t love me.”

Sidharth withdrew his hand from Simran’s grasp, a mixture of confusion and panic swirling within him. He turned his gaze away, unable to face the truth lurking in her words. His heart was racing painfully fast, pounding against his ribcage as if trying to escape the reality he was reluctant to acknowledge. Somewhere deep down, he began to realize what Simran was hinting at. He knew he was hurting her, and it gnawed at him—there was no fault of hers in this tangled mess of emotions.

“Simran, you’re overreacting. I just need some time,” he said, trying to sound composed, but his voice wavered slightly, betraying his inner turmoil.

Simran forced a sad smile, feeling a surge of frustration. How could this man, whom she cared for so deeply, be so blind to his own feelings? Didn’t he see that his heart belonged to Shehnaaz? Couldn’t he recognize the insane possessiveness he felt for her, the way she occupied every corner of his mind? It was as if he was living in denial, and it was infuriating.

“Sidharth, I’m not overreacting. It’s you who needs to understand your heart,” she insisted, her tone firm yet gentle.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the cacophony of his thoughts. “Simran, I’m already very much confused. Please don’t start this again, or I swear I’ll go crazy.”

Simran felt irritation bubbling up inside her. Why couldn’t he see the obvious? Why was he so ignorant of the simplest truth? “Sidharth, I will ask you a straightforward question. Will you answer me honestly?” she pressed, stepping in front of him to ensure he couldn’t escape.

Sidharth groaned impatiently, knowing Simran well enough to anticipate that she wouldn’t drop the subject easily. “What is it?” he replied, a hint of exasperation creeping into his voice.

Simran took a breath, steadying herself before hitting the nail on the head. “Do you love Shehnaaz?”

Sidharth’s expression shifted, a flash of offense crossing his face. “Of course I love Shehnaaz. What kind of question is that?” he shot back, defensive and unyielding.

Simran rolled her eyes, her patience wearing thin. “Okay, let me rephrase myself. Are you in love with Shehnaaz?”

The atmosphere grew heavy with silence.

Sidharth stood there, rooted in place as if time had frozen around him. He felt like a deer caught in headlights, his mind racing yet completely blank. The gravity of her question weighed down on him, and he gaped at her, dazed and bewildered. It was as if he had just encountered a ghost, the truth of his emotions standing before him, haunting and undeniable.

For the first time, he felt a flicker of doubt about everything he had believed. Simran’s question echoed in his mind, demanding an answer he wasn’t ready to confront. The air felt thick, charged with unspoken feelings and realizations, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that this moment might change everything.

_________________

Author’s Note

Dear Readers,

Shehnaaz and Sidharth’s relationship unfolds through a mix of tension, misunderstandings, and deep emotional connections. Shehnaaz is a resilient character who has faced significant loss and betrayal, navigating her fears while striving to protect her son, Vihaan. Her strength and vulnerability make her relatable.

Sidharth, on the other hand, is caught between familial expectations and his feelings for Shehnaaz. His internal struggle reflects the complexities of love and loss, highlighting how past traumas influence present decisions.

Their relationship embodies the messy nature of love, marked by attraction, confusion, and fear of vulnerability. As the story progresses, I aim to explore themes of healing and forgiveness, emphasizing the courage to embrace love despite past shadows. Thank you for joining me on this emotional journey through Shehnaaz and Sidharth’s story. I hope you find their experiences engaging and relatable.

Also, stay tuned for Baarish, Bhula Dunga, Mora Piya, Beintehaa and Thodasa pyar which will be starting soon along with the rest of the stories. There’s so much more in store, and I can’t wait for you to dive into these new adventures.

Don’t forget to follow me on  WattpadInstagram and Youtube  for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more. Your support on these platforms helps keep the creativity flowing.

With love and gratitude,

Shalaka

#EmotionalJourney, #LoveAndLoss #RawEmotions #ShehnaazAndSidharth #HeartfeltWriting #AuthorLife #WritingCommunity #Inspiration #Storytelling #RomanticDrama #FeelingsUnspoken #PersonalJourney #ReadAndVote

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