Chapter 29

Simran’s fingers trembled as she held the phone, trying to connect to her father. Her heart pounding in her chest. She tried to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside her, forcing herself to sound strong, even though she felt like she was about to break. She took a deep breath as the call was received on the other end and mumbled softly, “Hello, dad…”

Her voice was shaky, betraying the fear she was trying so hard to hide. But before she could say anything more, a familiar voice interrupted her.

“Hey sweetheart, it’s me, your Yash uncle,” came the voice of Sidharth’s father from London. His tone was filled with affection, instantly comforting yet catching her off guard. “Your dad must’ve forgotten his phone in my cabin again, I guess… So, how’s my princess doing?”

Simran felt her heart sink a little deeper. She wasn’t ready for this conversation, not with Yash uncle, not with anyone. She tried to muster a smile, though it felt weak and forced. “Uncle, I’m fine… How are you?” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, struggling to keep the growing heaviness in her chest at bay.

Yash ji’s smile came through the phone, “I’m good, honey, and your dad’s fine too. How’s everything over there? How’s life treating you all? And how’s Sid doing?”

For a moment, Simran wanted to let her guard down, to pour out everything she had been bottling up inside. But she couldn’t. Not yet. She wasn’t ready for that confrontation. “Uncle, everything is alright here…” she lied, her voice faltering slightly as she tried to hide the pain. “I just… I just wanted to talk to dad.”

Yash ji instantly sensed something wasn’t right. His tone shifted, becoming serious,  “What happened, beta? Are you alright? Did Sidharth do something wrong?”

Simran quickly tried to cover her emotions. She couldn’t let him know the truth, not like this. Forcing a lighter tone, she hurriedly responded, “No, no, uncle, of course not. It’s nothing like that. Actually, I was planning to come back there… so I thought I’d talk to dad first. I needed to tell him something important.”

Yash ji played along, though the worry in his voice was unmistakable. “You’re coming back? So soon, beta? Are you not happy there?”

Simran’s throat tightened painfully as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak even though every word hurt. “Uncle, it’s not that… It’s just… I’ve been missing dad, that’s all. And, uncle…” Her voice broke, the words she had been dreading finally escaping her lips. “I’m sorry, but I can’t marry Sid.”

There was a long, heavy pause on the other end. The silence felt unbearable, as if the world had stopped for a moment. And then, Yash ji’s shocked voice came through, trying to remain calm despite the bombshell she had just dropped. “What? What happened, beta? Do you want me to talk to Sid? What’s going on? What changed all of a sudden?”

Simran closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that had been threatening to fall. Her heart ached as she tried to explain. “Uncle, I told you… there’s nothing wrong between me and Sidharth. He didn’t do anything wrong. But I’ve realized now that… I don’t love him. It was never love. It was just an infatuation from my end, something I misunderstood… I don’t love him.”

Her voice cracked, but she forced herself to continue. “I’ll talk to both of you clearly when I get back. I just… I just can’t do this anymore.”

Yash ji knew he needed to act fast “Alright, Sim… You come soon. We’ll talk this through and find a solution. Don’t worry, beta, everything will work out.”

“Okay, uncle. Bye,” Simran whispered, her voice barely audible now. She cut the call quickly, unable to hold on any longer.

The moment the call ended, her façade crumbled. The tears she had been holding back for so long finally spilled, streaming down her face as she broke into sobs. She collapsed onto her bed, hugging her knees to her chest as the painful reality of her decision hit her with full force.

____________

Sidharth stormed into Uttara’s room, his face twisted with desperation and panic. He was breathing heavily, his eyes bloodshot from the intensity of his emotions. He looked utterly wrecked, as if he had been carrying the weight of a thousand regrets.

Uttara, startled by his sudden entrance, rushed towards him, her own heart racing at the sight of his disheveled state. She had never seen him like this before. “Sid… what happened?” she asked, fear gripping her as she took in his wild appearance. The sight of him like this unnerved her deeply.

Sidharth didn’t waste a second. His voice cracked with urgency as he asked, “Did you see Sana..?”

Uttara hesitated, her heart sinking. She had seen Shehnaaz just moments ago, walking away with a look of unbearable pain in her eyes. But could she tell Sidharth that? Could she share with him the sorrow Shehnaaz had been drowning in all this time? No. Not after everything he had put her through. He didn’t deserve to know. Not after he had left her shattered.

“Umm…” she stammered, trying to find the words. But none came. The truth felt too heavy to speak.

Sidharth, growing more desperate with each passing second, grabbed her by the arm and shook her gently, his voice breaking. “Please, Uttara… did you see Sana?”

Uttara, torn between her pain and her anger, pushed his hands away, her eyes flashing with hurt. “And why do you want to know now?” she demanded, her voice laced with bitterness.

Sidharth closed his eyes, his frustration and helplessness bubbling to the surface. When he opened them again, they were pleading, filled with a pain so deep it was almost unbearable to witness. “Uttara, please… I need to know.”

Uttara looked at him incredulously, unable to believe what she was hearing. After all this time, after all the suffering Shehnaaz had endured, he suddenly wanted to find her? Her words came out sharper than she intended, but she couldn’t stop herself. “You never found the need to care before. When you were off living your life in London, Shehnaaz was here, suffering alone.”

Each word struck Sidharth like a blow, tearing into him, making him bleed from the inside. His heart twisted painfully, guilt pouring over him like a flood. He knew he had been wrong. His voice cracked, filled with anguish. “Please, Uttara… just tell me… where is she?”

Uttara’s resolve wavered as she saw the broken man standing before her, but her own tears began to spill. She couldn’t understand why he cared now. Why now, when Shehnaaz was finally trying to move on, giving Sameer a chance? Did he want to destroy her again, just as she was beginning to heal?

Sidharth couldn’t bear the silence. It felt like the world was closing in on him, suffocating him. His knees gave out, and he collapsed to the floor, his hands gripping his hair in agony. “Why won’t anyone tell me where she is? I need her… I need to see her… I can’t breathe without her. I will die if I can’t hold her, if I can’t touch her… She’s the only one who can ease this pain… God, please… I need my Sana…”

Uttara watched him fall apart, her heart breaking at the sight. She couldn’t believe this was the same man who had once walked away from Shehnaaz so easily. The pain in his voice was real, but was it too late? Had he realized too late?

She wiped her own tears and asked softly, but firmly, “I asked you something, Sid. Why do you want to know now?”

Sidharth clenched his fists, his knuckles white with tension as he forced the words out. “Because I’ve realized my mistake… I should never have left her. I was wrong… I was so wrong. I hurt her so much…”

Uttara turned her face away, her own tears falling freely. She had waited so long to hear those words from him, but now that they were here, they felt too little, too late. “Exactly, Sidharth… exactly,” she whispered through her sobs. “You hurt her. You hurt her more than anyone else ever could. I don’t want you to hurt her again.”

Sidharth’s heart screamed the truth he had been denying for so long, the truth he could no longer hide. “I love Shehnaaz, Uttara. I love her.”

Uttara shook her head, her anger and frustration boiling over. “But you don’t deserve her!” she snapped, her voice breaking with emotion.

She couldn’t believe this. Now he was saying he loved Shehnaaz? After all this time? After all the pain? He’d say he loved her now, but what would happen tomorrow? Would he call her his best friend again and push her away like he previously did? Uttara’s heart ached for Shehnaaz, and she couldn’t let Sidharth hurt her again.

No, Sidharth, I can’t let you do this to her anymore. You’ve hurt her enough. Shehnaaz doesn’t deserve this. She’s finally trying to move on… she’s finally giving Sameer a chance. And you want to ruin that too? You’re too late, Sidharth… too late.

Sidharth stood frozen as Uttara’s words echoed in his mind, each syllable feeling like molten lava being poured into his ears. “But you don’t deserve her…” The weight of those words crushed him, suffocating his heart with guilt and regret. His breath hitched as panic surged through him, the overwhelming fear of losing Shehnaaz paralyzing him.

Uttara was right. He didn’t deserve her. Not after everything he had done.

He had left her here, vulnerable and alone. He never cared about her safety or her dreams. He—he had been so selfish. How had he not seen it before? He had let her feel shame, allowed her to question her worth, while he let another girl occupy his thoughts. He had failed Shehnaaz in every possible way.

But now, seeing her with Sameer—watching her smile for another man—was tearing him apart. His insides twisted with agony. Was this the same pain Shehnaaz had felt when he had unintentionally pushed her away? Had he hurt her this deeply? This painfully?

The more he thought about it, the more his heart trembled with fear. How had Shehnaaz endured all this? The pain he was feeling now was unbearable, but she had faced it alone for so long. She had fought against the cruelty of her own family, pursued her dreams, navigated through her studies, and maintained her innocence. She had done it all without him—without his support, without his love. He had never cared enough to ask, never cared enough to protect her. How could he have been so blind?

Sidharth’s chest tightened as the full realization hit him—he wasn’t worthy of her. Shehnaaz was an angel, pure and kind, while he had been heartless. No, not just heartless. He had been inhuman. He had betrayed her in the worst way possible—by abandoning her when she needed him most. Worse still, he had allowed himself to entertain thoughts of another woman when the only person he had ever truly loved was Shehnaaz.

And now? Now he stood here, desperate and broken, wanting her back. But what right did he have to claim her? She had moved on. She was finding happiness with Sameer. And yet, here he was, trying to rip that hope away from her because of his own selfishness.

What kind of person was he? Human, or inhuman? Did he even have the right to call her his? To think that Shehnaaz still belonged to him?

No. She didn’t. She never did. Not anymore.

He had lost her.

The truth crashed over him like a tidal wave, drowning him in sorrow. He had lost Shehnaaz. He had lost his every right to her, to her love, to her heart. The weight of his mistakes suffocated him as he stood there, hollow and broken, realizing that he had let go of the only person who had ever truly mattered.

He had lost Shehnaaz. And he would never get her back.

Yash ji snapped up from his seat and paced towards the window, frustration coursing through him like a storm. His fists clenched as he tried to make sense of what had gone wrong. Sidharth… what have you done?

His mind raced as the pieces began to fall into place. Simran had seemed upset when they spoke. There had to be something Sidharth had done to hurt her—something serious. If Veeraj, Simran’s father, found out about this, it would only make things worse. Yash ji groaned in frustration, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him.

Why couldn’t Sidharth just do what he was supposed to?

This mess had to be dealt with, and fast. Yash ji  rubbed his temple, his anger simmering beneath the surface. He regretted not going with Sidharth to India. He should’ve kept an eye on him. And then there was that girl… that Shehnaaz—the one from India.

She must be the reason behind all of this, Yash ji thought bitterly.

His teeth clenched at the thought of her. Why did Sidharth still keep in touch with her? That girl had no business being anywhere near his family. He couldn’t understand why his mother, Sidharth’s grandmother, had ever entertained the idea of letting her into their lives. What was Shehnaaz’s motive? What was she after?

This girl is trouble, Yash ji fumed internally. I have to do something before she ruins everything for us again.

With a steely resolve, he grabbed his phone and dialed quickly.

“Hello, Dev…”

On the other side of the call, Dev, lounging comfortably with a girl by his side, answered with mild irritation, “Yeah, Dad? What’s with the sudden call? I’m kind of in the middle of something…” He planted a kiss on the girl’s cheek, not caring much about the urgency in his father’s voice.

But Yash ji wasn’t in the mood for games. His voice was sharp and to the point. “You’re going to India,” he snapped, leaving no room for argument.

“What?!” Dev was flabbergasted, his playful demeanor instantly evaporating. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Dad! How many drinks have you had?”

Yash ji’s temper flared. “Dev, I’m serious. Be in your limits and listen carefully. You’re going to India as soon as possible. There’s a problem between Sidharth and Simran, and I need you to fix it.”

Dev sighed dramatically, clearly annoyed by the sudden demand. “Dad, I told you not to send Sidharth bhai back to India. You didn’t listen to me then.”

Yash ji exhaled heavily, his frustration mingling with regret. “I know… I should’ve listened. But it’s too late for that now. You need to go, book your tickets immediately, and fix this mess. I don’t care what it takes—just get everything back in order.”

Without waiting for Dev’s response, Yash ji ended the call, his mind racing with the implications of what might be happening.

Dev, on the other hand, sighed heavily as he pocketed his phone. His irritation melted as he turned back to the girl beside him. He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, trying to escape from the looming responsibility that awaited him. But he knew his father’s words were final—India was his next stop.

“Do you even know what she’s gone through?” Uttara’s voice trembled with disappointment, the image of Shehnaaz’s tear-streaked face flashing in her mind, filling her with anguish.

Sidharth’s chest tightened as he swallowed the lump of pain lodged in his throat. His voice was hoarse, barely a whisper. “No… you’re right. I don’t deserve her.”

Uttara’s frustration surged. She couldn’t hold back anymore. She needed him to understand, to feel the weight of what Shehnaaz had endured. “You don’t know anything, Sidharth. You know nothing!” Her voice broke, thick with emotion. She wanted to scream at him, to shake him out of his self-pity. She wanted to tell him just how much Shehnaaz had needed him—how she still did, in ways—but he was too late. Sameer had taken his place.

Sidharth stood up slowly, his limbs heavy with numbness. “I don’t deserve Shehnaaz,” he repeated, his voice hollow, as if saying it would ease the ache in his chest.

Uttara let out a cry of pure frustration. “She needed you, Sidharth! She needed you every damn second!” Her heart twisted painfully as she thought of Shehnaaz suffering alone.

Sidharth pressed his hands to his temples, feeling as though his head might explode from the pressure, from the guilt that was suffocating him. “I don’t deserve her,” he muttered, his voice cracking under the weight of his own self-loathing.

Tears filled Uttara’s eyes as she gripped the bed’s railing, trying to keep herself together. “She cried for you… she died for you, but you never came back…”

Each word felt like a dagger, slicing deeper into Sidharth’s heart. His chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. The pain was unbearable. He could barely process what Uttara was telling him.

“What Balraj did to Shehnaaz…” Uttara couldn’t finish the sentence, choking on the memory of that horrifying time. “When we saw her lifeless body in the hospital… we were so scared that we’d lose her forever.”

Sidharth’s entire body shuddered, the fear clawing at his insides. The mere thought of losing Shehnaaz… the image of her lying cold and broken on the hospital bed… it was enough to crush him. How could he let this happen? How could he not be there?

“Sana ne apni padhai tak puri nahi ki…” Uttara’s voice wavered as she recalled the trauma, her eyes wide in fear. “Malini chachi ne usse jaan se…”

Sidharth’s heartbeat stopped, his breath caught in his throat as Uttara’s words unraveled the horror of Shehnaaz’s past. His world came crashing down.

They tried to…?

No.

They tried to kill my Sana?

His thoughts spiraled into a dark abyss. He was ashamed—ashamed of ever daring to call Shehnaaz his. He had no idea, no idea at all, of the depths of her suffering. He had been blind to it all.

What had she gone through?

How had she managed to survive, all on her own?

She had left her studies—sacrificed her dreams—just to stay alive.

And where was he?

Where was he when she needed him most?

And now… now he wanted to claim her as his. What right did he have? No right at all. She owed him nothing. He had failed her.

He deserved to burn in this hell of guilt and regret.

Uttara, still facing away from Sidharth, finally let out a heart-wrenching sob. “Tumhe toh yeh bhi nahi pata… hadd se zyada pyaar karti thi woh tumse.” Her words were a broken cry, hating herself for the way she was speaking to Sidharth, but she couldn’t stop. She turned to look at him, her eyes filled with accusation.

But when she looked, Sidharth was gone.

Sighing heavily, Uttara’s knees buckled, and she sank to the floor. Her sobs echoed through the room as she cried her heart out—for her dear friend, for her Sana. Shehnaaz didn’t deserve any of this. She deserved love, happiness… but all she got was pain.

Just pain.

It was almost midnight when Shehnaaz quietly walked into her room, her mind spinning with a thousand thoughts. She had no idea what had just happened to her, or why her emotions felt like they were spiraling out of control. She had resolved to bear everything with strength—after all, Shehnaaz Gill never falls weak. But the small part of her, the *Sana* inside her, still felt vulnerable when it came to Sidharth.

*Why?* Why did her heart ache so much at the sight of Sidharth and Simran together? They loved each other, they deserved each other—so why was this pain so relentless, threatening to break her from within?

Why can’t I just turn my heart into stone? she cursed silently, walking deeper into the dimly lit room. She had grown accustomed to the dark—it comforted her now, hiding her pain, keeping her wounds concealed from the world.

With a sigh, she approached the bed and switched on the side table lamp. But what she saw next made her pause.

Sidharth was there, fast asleep on her bed, hugging her pillow tightly to his chest.

Shehnaaz froze for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest. This habit of his—sleeping on her bed when he wanted to be close to her—was something she knew all too well. But tonight, it confused her.

Why was he here now? Why did he need her today, when everything seemed fine between him and Simran?

With another soft sigh, she sat beside him, her fingers trembling as she gently pulled the duvet over him. As she did, Sidharth stirred in his sleep, mumbling her name, “Sana…”

The sound of his broken voice startled her, and her heart clenched. He sounded so vulnerable, so lost.. as if was in pain.. She hesitated for only a second before her hand moved to caress his hair, soothing him as he lay restlessly.

“Sidharth…” she called his name softly, hoping to break the trance that held him. His hand, however, shot out in his sleep, gripping hers tightly.

Her breath caught in her throat as his strong hand held hers, the possessiveness in his touch sending her heart fluttering wildly. She tried again. “Sidharth…” Her voice was almost a whisper, her chest tightening as her feelings surged. But instead of releasing her, he pulled her closer.

Before she knew it, she was pulled right on top of him, her body landing softly against his chest.

A wave of awareness washed over her, and she instantly tried to get up, but his arms, now securely around her waist, held her firmly in place. His touch felt desperate, as if he feared losing her, as if letting her go would shatter him.

The warmth of his embrace sent conflicting emotions crashing through her. She could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong beneath her. His arms around her provided a sense of comfort, one that she hadn’t felt in so long. The closeness of their bodies made her heart race, faster than she wanted to admit.

“Sidharth…” Shehnaaz tried calling his name again, but her voice faltered. The reality of their proximity overwhelmed her. She was so close to him, just inches away. Her heart betrayed her as it thudded wildly in her chest, responding to the warmth of his skin, the weight of his arms around her.

She hated how her heart rejoiced at his touch, hated how her eyes stung with unshed tears. Why did she still crave this? Why did her heart still yearn for his affection after everything? She could never forget that one week of her love, the memories they shared, the love that had bloomed between in her heart.

His hold tightened around her, pulling her even closer. Shehnaaz snapped out of her thoughts, panic flooding her system. What am I doing?

How could she let this happen? Simran… Her mind screamed the name. She couldn’t betray her. She couldn’t let her emotions take over. This isn’t your love, she reminded herself. Let him go, Shehnaaz. Let him live his life. Accept the fact that he was never yours.. you are shehnaaz Gill… and you don’t need anyone.. she tried to shake away her inner emotions but it refused to leave her..

“Sidharth, uth na..” This time, her voice was a whisper.

Sidharth stirred again in his sleep, his grip on her loosening only slightly before he shifted. He turned, pulling her underneath him, his body pressing hers into the mattress.

Shehnaaz gasped, her small frame completely enveloped by his strong, muscular form. She felt like a feather beneath him, powerless to push him away. His body, toned and heavy, pinned her down, making escape impossible.

Her breath hitched as she lay there, trapped beneath him. 

Author’s Note